


Through the Dark

by loserforlou



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Betrayal, Break Up, Claustrophobia, Flashbacks, Insecure Louis, Louis-centric, M/M, Maybe a happy ending, Mental Illnesses, Misunderstandings, Multi, PTSD, Past Abuse, Take Me Home Tour, except for louis, he is my precious bean, maybe not, the boys are assholes in this tbh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-21
Updated: 2017-04-21
Packaged: 2018-08-16 06:18:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 23,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8090722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loserforlou/pseuds/loserforlou
Summary: When Louis' four boyfriends accuse him of cheating and in turn ignore him for a week, he is left heartbroken. However, just when he thinks he's forgiven, the boys pull a prank on him as a form of revenge, and things take a turn for the worst.Set during the end of the Take Me Home tour.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly, I'm just writing this for fun. I like zianourry and wish there was more fics for it, so I decided to contribute. If anyone actually reads this story, feedback is greatly appreciated! And remember, this is clearly fiction, and not at all representative of any true events.

The boys had been ignoring Louis all week, and while he knew why they had been doing it at first, he wasn't sure why it was continuing.

The five boys of One Direction, were all in a relationship, and it was honestly perfect. After being put in a group together on the X-Factor, they had instantly all connected, and after a couple of months, it bloomed into a relationship. Louis and Harry had been "messing around" for awhile, but eventually started dating. Then Harry liked Niall (he was so scared to tell Louis), Louis liked Zayn (he was just as scared as Harry), Zayn liked Liam, and Liam liked Zayn and Niall. Niall liked all of them. After quite of bit of drama, Niall suggested a five way relationship, and the rest was history. They were all happy as could be. The only problem was, their management team wasn't so happy. Seeing as they wouldn't want even one gay member in the group (homophobia was still a problem, and part of their selling point was girls feeling as though they had a chance with the boys), every member actually dating each other was disastrous. They couldn't, of course, stop the boys from dating, but they could closet them and force them into public relationships with females. Harry became the womanizer, who had a new girl every week. Liam had Danielle. Zayn had Perrie. Louis had Eleanor. The only one who escaped was Niall. But behind closed doors, they forgot about all of the cover ups, scandals, and lies, because their love was real, and that was all that really mattered. Of course, sometimes they'd fight, but usually they'd resolve it quickly (it's hard to avoid someone you're literally on a world tour with). This time, though, not so much.

It started when Louis was called in alone. This wasn't unusual, per say, except it seemed like Louis was the only one they ever called in lately. It would seem "Elounor" was the fastest moving relationship. Part of Louis resented that fact, but he was the oldest, and if any of the boys had to go through this, he was glad it was him. (Or that's what he'd tell himself). Pretty soon, it seemed like everyday his management team started calling him in alone (so much so, that the boys had been worried he was cheating, which he quickly put to rest). It was nothing new, though, just some dates here and there. All things he could handle. Until he was told that he was to be engaged to Eleanor. He fought with them for hours, because that was too far. He couldn't do that, couldn't lie to the world like that.

Couldn't betray his boys like that.

He told them it didn't make sense, because this definitely wasn't telling girls they had a chance with him. They just said it would finally put all the gay rumors to rest, and besides, engagements always got lots of publicity. He didn't have much say in the matter. It was him or one of the other boys, so he eventually relented. It was all for the loves of his life. Which is why it hurt so much when they yelled at him when he told them. They screamed at him, called him a whore, accused him of actually wanting to marry her. And they all knew it wasn't really Louis that they were mad at, but he was the closest to put the blame on. When they saw the flashy ring on his finger, knowing it was from someone other than them, it was hard to be anything but angry.

Louis had spent the whole week trying to make it up to the boys (not that there was much to make up for). He bought Harry a new shirt he knew the boy had been eyeing from YSL, but apparently that was a mistake. "The shirt is too feminine, you know what people would say if they saw me in it. Do you just like causing drama for this band?"

He'd tried Liam next, getting him a signed copy of The Dark Knight Rises, and set up a movie night for the two of them, with all of Liam's favorite movies. That didn't work either. "I already watched all of these, why would I want to watch them again? Besides, I was gonna hang out with the boys tonight, no need to steal me away. Shouldn't you be on a date with your girlfriend- no wait, fiancé- or something?" He'd felt helpless after that, feeling as though he'd been stabbed in the heart, but knew he should still try Niall. Niall was always sweet, and hated drama, so Louis had hope he would forgive him. He got him tickets to a golf tournament that was going on during their upcoming break, knowing how big of a fan of the sport he was. Unfortunately, third time was not the charm.

"God Louis, I already got tickets to this, maybe if you actually listened you would know that." (They both knew he hadn't actually told Louis that, since the tickets had gone on sale less than two days ago, during which time the boys weren't talking to Louis). Louis knew he should probably try Zayn, but the boy hadn't uttered a single word to him since the fight, and it seemed useless to even attempt reconciling with him. Louis was losing hope.

~~~

Louis stared sadly at his menu, barely even able to comprehend the choices in front of him. After he released a sixth sigh in less than 5 minutes, Eleanor decided to speak up. "Louis, what's wrong?" Louis just shrugged, mumbling a "nothing" to her, as he'd done everytime she'd asked him this week. It was five days since their "engagement," and the third "date" during that time, and Elanor could tell Louis was getting worse with each passing day.

"C'mon, Lou, don't give me that bullshit. We may not actually be together but you still mean a lot to me. Is there something going on with you and the boys?" Louis instantly teared up at the mention of them, and despite trying to hide it, Eleanor still noticed.

"That's it, we're going back to mine to talk about this. You can't keep all of this to yourself." Eleanor dragged him out of the restaurant, even though they hadn't even ordered anything yet and the deal with management was an "at least one hour long date," but he was honestly too tired to resist. When they got to Eleanor's flat, narrowly avoiding paparazzi, Eleanor sat Louis down on the couch, while she went to prepare some tea. When she came back with two mugs, she found him crying.

Eleanor spent the next hour making Louis talk to her about everything going on, and by the end, he actually felt better than he had all week. It was like a weight had been lifted, and his heart no longer felt like it was about to fall right out of his chest. All relationships had fights, and they were all just blowing this out of proportion. They would get over it soon enough, and they could go back to the cuddly, happy group of boys they usually were.

Eleanor even gave Louis an idea for a gift for an apology gift for Zayn. As soon as he gets in his car, Louis drives off to an art store, and gets some fancy art supplies that he doesn't really understand the point of, but he knows Zayn will love. Most of his art supplies had been getting worn out, and this was perfect because Zayn always loves to draw and paint over their break. When he leaves the store, it feels like the first time he's smiled in forever. He starts driving back home, and checks his phone at a red light.

From Tom (PR Manager): 'Wtf was that? You were supposed to spend at least an hour on that date. We're talking about this soon. You need to get your act together'

From Liam: 'So you're sleeping w her now? Not even surprised' Attached was a pic of Louis and Eleanor walking up to her flat. Evidently they didn't avoid the paparazzi. His phone buzzed one more time and he desperately hoped it was one of the boys, apologizing or at least giving him a chance to explain.

From Zayn: 'Whore'

While Louis felt his heart cracking, a car honked behind him. Through blurry eyes, he saw the light was green. He did a u-turn, heading to a hotel he'd stay the night at, not even caring he didn't have any clothes or toiletries. He clearly wasn't welcome home. He wasn't even sure he could call it that anymore.

~~~

It was now day six of their fight, and Louis hadn't talked to any of the boys in over 36 hours (unless you counted the hurtful texts they sent him). He'd been sleeping on the bus with the crew when they were on the road, and hotels when they were stopped. The last time the boys had talked to him in person was two days ago during a concert, just to not concern the fans. However, the tension had been high on stage, and fans on Twitter had been questioning it nonstop. Louis had cried himself to sleep last night, looking through all the tweets that made it clear that if they couldn't even fake standing his presence, then they must really hate him. Between that and the disastrous afternoon, he was pretty sure his body didn't have any tears left. With the tweets and texts and all the hurtful things they had said to him this week in mind, Louis officially decided he would break up with the boys. As much as he loved them, the feeling clearly wasn't mutual, and he needed to move on and stop holding the boys back. It was for the best.

~~~

Louis decided that he would officially break up with them after the concert tomorrow night. At that point it will have been exactly a week since the fight had begun, and clearly if they hadn't forgiven him yet, they weren't going to.

He thought about the best way to go around it. He would go onto the tour bus with all of them, because as little as they liked him, they couldn't stop him from getting on. It was his home too. Or well, it was. Louis sadly realized he'd probably never stay on that bus again. While Liam, Zayn, Harry and Niall continued in their happy relationship, he'd have to do all he could to avoid them. Seeing them doing well without him would hurt too much.

The more Louis thought about it, the more he realized that this was definitely for the best, and he probably should've done it long ago. Despite his age, he'd always been the most immature in the group. He'd pull pranks he thought were funny, but looking back, were probably just annoying. His voice was also too high pitched and annoying, and he suddenly understood why the boys were all ignoring him this week. If he were them, he'd avoid him at all costs, too.

As the self deprecating thoughts ran through his head, it flashed through his mind that maybe he should also leave the band- his singing wasn't even that good, and he knew he would fall apart seeing the boys everyday and not being able to hold them- but he also knew he couldn't do that to the fans. He could think about it when the tour was over. Which, thinking about it, would be over in less than a week. Just a couple more concerts, and he would be out of One Direction's hair for good. With that thought in mine, Louis drowned his sorrows in alcohol from the hotel mini bar, drinking until he didn't feel pain anymore.

~~~

It's two hours before the concert was set to begin when Louis arrives at the venue. He's at least two hours late, but is still too hungover to care. Tom approached him first, screaming at him that he was late and going to ruin everything again, but Louis had taken a bit too many pain pills, and the words just flew into one ear, and right out the other. He grumbled a response, and Tom heaved out an angry sigh before stomping away. Next came Lou, who just looked at him sadly and a bit disappointedly, but just dragged him off to a dressing room to get ready. Louis numbly put the clothes Lou handed him on, not even checking to see what he was wearing. It wasn't until he turned around and looked into the mirror that he actually had a reaction. His eyes widened when he saw he was wearing green tights with a slightly lighter green shirt. He couldn't help the "what the fuck" that came out of his mouth.

"It's Halloween." Louis turned to look at Lou in confusion, waiting for her to continue. "It's Halloween today, so we thought it would be fun for all of you boys to dress up for the concert. Harry was supposed to tell all of you guys to come in costume today, but it looks like you didn't get the memo," Lou quickly continues when she sees how Louis' face falls, "but that's ok, I was secretly hoping you wouldn't have a costume, because I think this is the perfect one for you. Nothing could be better." That may be true, but Louis can't be sure, because he isn't even sure what it is he's dressed as. "Um, what exactly am I?"

"Oh! You're Peter Pan. I think it fits you and your personality quite well. You're definitely the "forever young" type." Lou clearly meant that as a compliment, but Louis couldn't help but feel a twinge of hurt. It's just a reminder he's the immature one of the group, and that they really don't need him. When Lou gives him a green hat with a red feather, he puts it on, and sulks off to the stage.

~~~

There's still an hour until the concert officially starts, so Louis decides to try and find a private room to warm up. He's sure he wouldn't be welcome to the actual warm up. However, right as he finds an empty dressing room, he hears a "Hey Lou, wait up!" come from behind him. He knows for a fact that it's Liam- no matter how long they go without talking, he'll always be able to identify all of the boys' voices. Louis pauses as his hand hovers above the door handle, almost turning around to see what Liam wanted. But then he realizes he had said "Lou" and based on how the boys have been treating him this week, he's pretty sure they aren't on nickname terms right now. Liam must have been trying to get Lou's attention. They are close to the dressing rooms. Shoulders sagging as he realizes how idiotic it was to hope Liam actually wanted to see him, Louis pushes the door open.

However, as he's turning to close it behind him, a foot stops it. "Did you not hear me?" Louis looks up and sees Liam looking down at him. He wonders if he's finally hit rock bottom and is now hallucinating. Louis can do nothing but gape at Liam, whose smile is slowly turning to a confused frown. "Hellllllo? Earth to Louis," Liam says, waving his hand in front of Louis' face. It takes Louis a moment to respond because his world is spinning. He vaguely wonders if it's because he hadn't eaten anything all day and was still suffering from a hangover, but know it's more likely that it's due to the fact that one of the people he loves more than anything is smiling at him, days after he had accused him of cheating. "What?" Louis hates how his voice cracks, but it's like there's a tornado of emotion wreaking havoc in his mind, and there wasn't much he could do to stop it. He wonders for a moment if Liam was about to break up with him, was buttering him up before he breaks his heart. He's not sure if he'd be relieved or even worse off.

Liam looks at him strangely, but just says, "C'mon, warm ups already started." With that he grabs Louis' hand and drags him off, as if the past week had never happened. Louis feels like he's in a trance as he stumbles, blindly following Liam, too lost in his thoughts to even pay attention to the outside world. Louis doesn't snap out of his daze until they reach the rest of the boys, and Niall snaps in his face, all the boys cracking up when he can only manage a "huh?" The boys all look relaxed and happy (they clearly were fine without me, Louis thinks bitterly to himself), and he was confused why he wasn't being shunned anymore.

"We know we've kinda been assholes to you lately, and haven't even let you apologize, but we figured we could do all that tonight. Right now, we just want to have an awesome concert. We figure the fans deserve that." It's Harry who spoke, and Louis noticed he was avoiding eye contact. In fact, all of the boys were. He knew they were hiding something, knows them well enough, but he just wants their acceptance. He thinks maybe if he's good enough tonight- nice enough, talented enough, just enough- things could go back to how they were. He knows they're hiding something, but who is he to complain. He figures he's just lucky to have any attention from them. So he just says, "Um, yeah." With that, the boys begin warm ups.

Louis can feel the tension in the air, but can't help but wonder if it's just him. His shoulders are tense, and he's so nervous they're going to snap at him again, but they all look fine. He shouldn't be surprised though, is the thing. Of course they'd all be relaxed and happy. Just because he was struggling, didn't mean they were. He was sure they had been eating fine, sleeping fine, and probably weren't constantly thinking of new reasons to hate themselves. They didn't need him like he needed them.

Louis does his warm ups close to the rest of them, but facing the wall. He doesn't deserve to look at them, he's just the burden of the band. He jumps when he feels a hand on his shoulder. "Calm down, Lou, you're so tense. It'll all be alright, ok?" It's Harry, and Louis almost starts sobbing. He had missed his touch so much, he had missed the nicknames and feeling like someone actually cared. He knew it was unafir to the rest of the boys, but Harry was always his favorite, they always had the strongest connection between all of the boys. And having him back, after the longest amount of time he's gone without talking to him since they met at the x-factor, well, it's almost too much. He turns around and hugs Harry, needing to feel as much of him as he can, like soaking up the sun after a long winter. When Harry rubs his back, he can't help the tears that leak out, and quiet sniffles.

"Shh babe, I'm so sorry for this week, but we can talk about all of it later. We have a concert to get to. Just remember I love you." Louis pulls back and furiously wipes his eyes, trying not to ruin the slight makeup Lou had put on him. "I love you, too." He sees the guilt in Harry's eyes when he says that. He just hopes it's because he felt bad for the past week. He hopes he's wrong and none of the boys are hiding anything. He hopes things can go back to how they once were.

(He doesn't like the instrusive thought in his mind, reminding him hope never got him anywhere in life).

Louis turns to go on stage, trying to make sure he looks presentable for the thousands of fans he's about to sing in front of. Right as he's running on stage, he hears Zayn whisper in his ear, "Your ass looks delectable in those tights." He may or may not be blushing for the entire show after that, but at least he's smiling.

~~~

When the boys run off the stage after thanking the fans for being incredible, Louis is breathless. But with the boys at his side, it's almost like he can breathe for the first time in a week.

"Cmon, sweet cheeks," Niall says, squeezing Louis' bum, making his cheeks flame up again, "let's head to the hotel." Louis pauses in his steps, all the other boys following suit. "I thought we were staying in the tour bus. Don't we have a concert tomorrow?" Niall is gaping like a fish, clearly unsure as to what to say, making Louis even more confused. "Management thought we deserved actual beds. I mean, the tour is almost over. We deserve a hotel room." Liam jumps in, wrapping his arm around his shoulder. Niall nods along enthusiastically, and Zayn jumps in with "We'll definitely need a bed for what we have planned tonight." Louis is too busy blushing and giggling to wonder why the boys are acting so weird and why Harry has gone suspiciously quiet.

~~~

The whole car ride, all the boys are laughing and bantering, and it's almost like the fight never happened, and Louis is just trying to be grateful and not think too much. When they reach the hotel, each of the boys seem to be vying for Louis' attention, twisting and turning him so his eyes are on them. He should probably be concerned he's walking backwards, but the boys are so beautiful to look at it, and it's like nothing else even matters. When they get inside the hotel lobby, which is thankfully empty, Harry grabs his hand, while the rest of the boys run ahead, taking the stairs instead of the elevator, laughing loudly. Louis at first wonders why they aren't checking in, and how they even know where the room is, but dismisses the thought. The crew probably already did that for them, and told the rest of the boys everything they needed to know. Louis then smiles widely when he realizes the boys are going upstairs, because the boys must really care, or at least feel bad. Louis is always begging to take the stairs, his claustrophobia acting up everytime he takes the elevator. They always whine that they're too tired, and Louis goes with them because he hates being alone, and they make the small space bearable. Them taking the stairs is such a simple act, but means so much, and he knows forgiving them will be easy.

However, as he's heading towards the stairs, Harry tugs him back. "Can we please take the elevator? I'm exhausted." Louis can tell he's hiding something, he just knows there's another reason, but maybe it's a good one. Alone time with Harry doesn't sound half bad. Besides, he was never able to say no to green eyes. Louis smiles reassuringly to Harry, letting him know that he'll happily ride with him. It feels good to be wanted after so long, and he's willing to push away his fear, knowing Harry won't let anything bad happen to him. At least, that's what he had thought.

~~~

Louis was alone on the elevator, and trying hard just to breathe.

Right after Harry had pressed the number to their floor upon entering the elevator, the door had begun to close. That's when Harry rushed out, narrowly missing the doors closing on him as he muttered something about forgetting something. Louis had thrown his arm between the closing doors on instinct, but the elevator didn't seem to have the normal sensor that would make the doors stop closing when obstructed, and Louis really didn't want to have his hand crushed. Louis' eyes had welled up with tears the second the elevator started moving and he realized he was trapped. Ten seconds passed and, no matter how much he told himself it was illogical, it had felt more like ten minutes. He hated small spaces more than anything, and being in one alone was unbearable. He began pressing lower level buttons, in hopes of stopping earlier, and then treid the door's open button, but they wouldn't even light up. He backed up until his back hit the wall, and he really comprehended that there's was no escape. He might've been okay, probably would have been, but suddenly the elevator jerked to a stop, and the lights blinked out, leaving him in pitch black. He couldn't hold back his scream as he collapsed onto the floor, feeling as though the walls were closing in on him. Instantly, his mind transported him back to when he was seven years old, and there was nothing he could do about it.

_Louis didn't have the best life, but he was grateful for days like this. It was a school holiday, and his mum had decided to take off work that day, just to spend time with him. She had even gotten him a new toy- a stuffed rabbit he named buttons- and he felt happier than he had in a long time. Despite his young age, he was aware that she was only doing this to make up for the hell he was born into. He never blamed her though, he loved her more than anyone else._

_The real issue was his father. His mother took most of the abuse, but that didn't mean Louis was able avoid the occasional hit or kick. His body was covered in bruises most of the time, and not from the playground._

_Every night, usually after his dad had passed out after beating his mum or him, his mum would tuck him in and sing him a lullaby. It was the only time he felt truly safe._

_While they had been playing Candyland that day, hLouis saw his mom staring at him sadly. He tried to smile reassuringly, but it's hard to reassure someone when you aren't assured yourself. His mum swiped her thump over his black eye lightly, but he couldn't help flinching. She sighed heavily, before saying, "I'm gonna get us out of here. We're gonna be safe soon, babe." Louis smiled at her, but didn't really believe her. He'd heard the promise plenty of times, and it now sounded empty. There was no escape from this hell._

_What Louis didn't know was that while he was taking a nap, she had been packing their bags, hoping today would be the day her plan would finally work. After his nap, he and his mum begin a game of monopoly. The fun day of playing with his mum is brought to an end, however, when the front door is slammed open. This was the moment it all went to shit, each and everyday. Louis is surprised when his mom tells him to go straight to his "special spot." It's a cabinet in the kitchen that Louis hides in when his mum thinks the abuse is going to be too extreme. They usually try to endure it together- they are eachother's rocks- but Louis can see in his mum's eyes that tonight is not the night to fight back with her. He sees her grabbing a phone, and wonders what's going to happen. Louis scurries to the kitchen, clutching on to his bunny like a lifeline, luckily avoiding being spotted by his father. His father looked incredibly intoxicated, and fortunately doesn't know about Louis' hiding spot._

_H_ _e wishes he could see what happens next, but he has to close the cabinet door to avoid being caught, meaning the only sense he can use is his hearing. That might be the worst part of the whole thing. It was pitch black, and Louis had always been scared of the dark growing up. The darkness always seemed to amplify the noise, the sounds of slaps and screams ringing in his ears, and, worst of all, left him vulnerable. It may have been for his protection, but Louis would forever despise that cramped cabinet._

_"Where's my dinner, bitch?" That's his father's voice, and Louis feels himself burrowing himself further into the cabinet._

_"I'm not making you dinner." Louis is shocked. He's never heard his mother talk back against his father, and it appears his father is just as shocked too, based on the way all noise seemed to cease for a moment._

_"What the fuck did you just say to me?"_

_"_ _I said, I'm not making you dinner." Louis isn't surprised when he hears the inevitable slap, but he is a bit surprised when he hears no noise come from his mother._

_"What the hell made you think you could disrespect me like that you bitch?" He hears heavy breathing coming from the living room, where the argument is taking place, and is tense as he waits to see how his mom will respond._

_"I'm not your bitch, and I'm not going to let you abuse me and our- my- son anymore. I'm leaving you, and taking my child. I've put up with this constant abuse for ten years, and I won't allow it anymore. My son deserves a bright future, and I plan on giving that to him." Louis is shocked, what does his mum think she's doing? He's going to kill her. He's not surprised when he hears the sound of a punch to the nose, the sound of crunching bone that's become familiar._

_"_ _And what makes you think I'll let you leave?" Louis holds his breath, waiting for the answer, and praying it's a good one._

_"I've already packed my bags. I called the police and they're already on their way. If you try to do anything now, the police will have evidence. It's over. We're over. I'm leaving this hell for good." Louis wants to cheer, but remembers to keep quiet. Is he really going to escape? Can they really start a new life?_

_There's silence after that, until he hears footsteps. He hears his mother saying she's going to go get her bags, and that he can't stop her. He hears her walking away. He hears his father's labored breaths, even if he's in another room, and hears him walk off somewhere. He hears a locked drawer clicking open. He hears his mother walking back. He hears her asking his father what he's doing. He hears her startled gasp. He hears a gunshot. He hears a body fall onto the ground with a thud. He hears his mother die, but all he saw was darkness, confined in a small space. He spends the rest of his life running from the dark, trying to escape the memories._

Now he's back in a small, dark space, and soon, everything goes black.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically the previous chapter from Harry's perspective. (Just lots and lots of angst)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, sorry this took so long, but I worked really hard on it. I really tried to make sure the timelines of the two chapters lined up, so if there's any errors, I hope it at least still makes sense. Also thanks for the amazing feedback I got on the first chapter, it was a lot better than I expected and I hope this reaches your expectations.

It was just another day for Harry. It wasn't supposed to end so poorly. 

When Louis had come home after another long day with management, Harry could tell something was off. While the boy was always tired after a day of arguing with his bosses (which he'd been doing a lot of, thanks to the fact they were stopped in London for a week, which meant they were staying in their home, which was unfortunately close to their management), he looked absolutely drained today. 

As always, it was Harry who greeted Louis when he first arrived, so he was the first to see all of this. They didn't even have to say anything. Harry just pulled Louis into a hug, knowing that's all he needed right now. He then scooped him into his arms bridal style. Louis would usually complain, because he's a "manly man," but he was too tired to do even that today. Harry placed him on the couch, where Liam, Niall and Zayn were sat, plopping him in their laps. Louis laid his head into Niall's lap, and put his feet in Zayn's lap, who instantly began rubbing them, and Liam just lightly rubbed his waist. That's what Harry loved about his relationship with the boys. They didn't even need to speak to communicate. 

He went to the kitchen to start on dinner, knowing the boys all needed a homemade meal sometimes. However, just as he was grabbing a pot, he hears Liam shouting "what the fuck," a thud, and then Louis groaning. He rushes back into the living room to see what all the commotion was. He sees Liam fuming while glaring at Louis, who is lying on the floor clutching his head, seemingly just waking up, while Niall and Zayn just stare in shock. 

Niall was the first to react. "What'd you do that for, Liam?" Liam harshly grabbed Louis' wrist, who yelped in response, yanking him up. Harry rushed to Louis. What was Liam doing? He was clearly hurting Louis, based on the way he was tearing up. Harry pulled him against his chest, trying to soothe him and protect him from Liam. 

"Look at his hand. Look at the bastard's left hand." Harry is very confused, but complies. 

On Louis' left ring finger, there was a ring. It and a simple silver band, and Harry was even more confused. "He got a ring, who cares? I wear rings all the time." 

Liam rolls his eyes, before spitting out, "It's an engagement ring, you dumbass. Probably from that whore he's dating." 

Louis interjects, but not to defend himself. "Hey, don't call Harry a dumbass, and don't call her a whore. Why are you being so rude?" Liam looks guilty for a second, but then his face hardens again. "Well I don't see you denying what it's for." 

Louis heavily sighs. "Yes it's an engagement ring. Obviously it's not real, but management says I have to get "engaged" to Eleanor. I found out today, and they said I have to wear the ring at all times, to keep the facade going." The boys all stare in shock, and Louis stumbles forward when Harry suddenly lets go of him. Around the room, all the boys are having different reactions. Both Liam and Zayn are fuming, Niall looks a bit confused, and Harry just looks heartbroken. Louis is gaping in disbelief. "You guys can't possibly be mad at me for this?" 

Harry finally finds his voice, and responds, "Of course we are. You're... You're just giving up on us." 

"No I'm not! How can you say that? You know this isn't my choice. It was either me or one of you guys, and I took it because I love you guys!" Harry knows it's all true, but when Louis yells, he has wide arm gestures, and it means that all Harry can see is the ring, flashing in the light. It blinds him, and all he can think is that it should be from him. He's wanted to marry Louis since he first met him at the urinals at the x-factor. It hurt so much just thinking of someone else marrying Louis, even if it's not real. 

"You're not doing this for us, you're doing it for yourself! You're doing it because you're a homophobic asshole who's ashamed of his sexuality. You just want everyone to think you're straight, and you're willing to marry some fake whore just to convince the world you're not a faggot." That was Liam, and everyone's a bit shocked by Liam's outburst, as he's usually calmest. Harry sees the tears well up in Louis' eyes, and knows Liam crossed a line, but he can't find it in himself to speak up. 

"Fuck you! I've never accused you of shit like that. You have a beard too." Liam shouts back even louder, "Yeah, but not a fucking fiancé." With that, Liam pushes Louis, who stumbles backwards. Both Harry and Niall gasp, but don't intervene. Louis clenches his fists and it looks like he's about to punch Liam, but he instead turns on his heel and leaves. Moments later, the guest room door slamming shut can be heard. 

The remaining boys stare at each other for a few moments, before Niall speaks up. "Don't you think that was... A bit much, Liam." Harry agrees, and Liam looks like he's about to defend himself, but before either can speak, Zayn interrupts them with a scoff. "Too much? That was barely enough. Louis is a coward, who obviously doesn't care about us as much as we care about him. He probably barely put up a fight. You heard him defend Eleanor, he probably is happy to have her as his fiance. He gets to have all the sex he wants with us, but still keep up the image of a happy, successful, straight man. And you know what, he probably wouldn't have even told us if Liam hadn't pointed it out." 

Harry thinks about how exhausted Louis was when he got home, likely from fighting with management, how he was too tired to even get any words out. However, he can't help but wonder if what Zayn said was true. "Well, what are we going to do now then?" Niall interjects. 

"I think we just all need space. We'll just leave him alone until we figure something out," Liam says. They all know that that's really code for the silent treatment. All the boys know Harry is the closest to Louis, and most likely to forgive him, so Zayn adds, "Think of it this way, you can either take the side of the boy wearing the engagement ring of someone else, or the side of your three boyfriends who would never do something like that." The three of them leave with that, only Niall with a guilty look. 

Harry doesn't want to pick sides, so he just continues making dinner instead. 

~~~ 

When Harry has finally finished dinner, he asks Liam, who had come back to the living room, to go get the rest of the boys. Just as Harry has placed all the food, utensils, and plates on the table, the boys came in. However, when he actually looked, he saw only three. He wanted to ask where Louis was, but figured he'd be there soon enough. The table is already set, so the boys go ahead and sit down, serving themselves. They all begin eating, except Harry, who patiently waits for Louis to arrive. After about five minutes, Niall pauses his conversation with Liam and Zayn to turn and say, "Eat, babe." It's clear no one is going to mention Louis' absence- and that's he doesn't plan on joining them. 

Harry begins eating, although he's not really hungry anymore. The thing is, homemade food is kind of his and Louis' thing. Louis always taste tested his experiments, and Harry had been the first to try Louis' attempt at cooking (chicken wrapped in Parma ham stuffed with mozzarella). They bonded over food. Most of their dates were over home cooked meals. Whenever they fought, they made up over those meals. And Louis never, ever skipped his dinners. Seems like Louis didn't want to make up. Well, Harry thought, if Louis wouldn't make an effort to keep this relationship alive, neither would Harry. 

(If only he had realized Liam hadn't told Louis dinner was ready, and that Louis had no way to know they were eating, as he had sobbed himself to sleep. Maybe then Louis wouldn't have walked into the dining room an hour later and felt as though he'd been stabbed in the heart when he saw the boys had already eaten without him). 

~~~ 

None of the boys, including Harry, talk to Louis the next day. Niall, Liam, and Zayn all act like nothing is wrong, but Harry can't hide how hurt he is. Sadly, the person who always comforts him is the person causing the whole issue. Louis hadn't even been home all day, and Harry really felt like Louis was giving up on the relationship. The only time he'd seen him was on the news, after news of his engagement came out. Niall comforted him while he cried, because this all hurt so much. It definitely didn't help when he saw an article covering the date Louis and Eleanor had went on that day. What hurt the most was when the article mentioned the fact that "Larry was officially over." He knew in the eyes of the media, "Larry" wasn't even real in the first place, but he couldn't help fearing what they said was true. 

Louis finally came home at 9:00 p.m. after all the boys had already eaten dinner (they had gotten take out because Harry was in no mood to cook). Harry knows this is when Louis came home, because the first place he went was to the bedroom Harry was moping in. Louis enters the room and smiles sadly at Harry, before launching into his speech.

"I know how furious you are right now, and I'm really sorry, but I hate this just as much as you do. I'm just really hoping you can forgive me, and we can look past this. To try and make up for everything going on, I got you that shirt I know you've been eyeing, baby." It is the shirt Harry has been wanting for a while, and it's from his favorite brand. He knows it cost a fortune, and though money isn't really an issue for them, it still shows how much he put into the gift. But the problem is, while Harry wants to appreciate the shirt he's being shown, Louis just has to show it with his left hand, which means Harry can't help but see that stupid, flashing ring. Why didn't he take the ring off when he got home? Did he just not care about how much it hurt and the other boys? That's why, instead of showing his thanks as he knew he should, Harry couldn't help but lash out. 

"The shirt is too feminine, you know what people would say if they saw me in it. Do you just like causing drama for this band?" Harry can see how much that stung Louis, and he instantly regretted it, but doesn't take it back. 

Louis just nods slightly, his eyes glossed over, before muttering out, "Yeah, you're right, I'm sorry, I don't know what I was thinking." He lightly places his shirt on the bed, before walking out quickly. Harry feels like absolute shit, he knows Louis didn't deserve that, but it's like he can't control his actions once he sees that stupid ring. 

Despite what he said, Harry loves the shirt, and seeing it lying on the bed getting all wrinkled physically pains him. He grabs it by the hanger and rushes to his side of the closet (the left side that, of course, he shares with Louis), and hangs it with care. He lets his eyes roam over to Louis' side (it always happens, even if he only has seconds to change, so there's no point trying not to). The closet is supposed to be reserved for their fancy clothes, like suits or tuxes, but of course Louis also hangs his Donny rovers jersey. 

("It's precious, Harry, practically priceless, of course I'm not gonna let it get wrinkled in some cramped drawer. It needs to breathe.") 

Harry smiles every time he sees it, but this time the smile is much sadder than usual. He knows this whole fight is stupid, but he and the boys just need to cool down. He goes ahead and gets in bed, and tries not think about Louis. It's easier said than done, though, especially when he can't sleep without longing for Louis' cuddles, even if he's surrounded by his other boyfriends. It's ok, though, because Harry promises himself he won't let this get out of hand. 

~~~ 

It's two days later, the morning of one of their London concerts, when Harry is called in alone to speak to their management team. When he enters, he frowns when he's met with the sight of Tom, but sits before him nonetheless. 

Harry has always hated Tom. At first he hated the way he clearly cared more about the money the actual music and fans, but he could look past that, because, as they say, that's show business. What he couldn't look past was the fact it was Tom's idea to give the boys "beards." He doesn't think he can ever look past all the drama and pain that's caused for him and his boyfriends. They wouldn't be in this whole mess if it wasn't for stupid Tom. Despite that, he knows he has to be polite. 

"Ah, thank you for coming Harry, it's so nice to see you." Scratch being polite, Tom's voice is like nails on a chalkboard, so Harry just stares back bored. At least he's holding his glare back. 

After a moment of awkward silence, Tom seems to catch on to the fact Harry doesn't plan on returning the greeting. He clears his throat, and says, "You're probably wondering why I called you here." He's once again met with a blank stare. "Well, as you know, Halloween is just a few days away. One Direction has been invited to do a Halloween special. Actually, how about I just show you." Tom fiddles around on his computer, then turns the monitor for Harry to see. He presses play and a YouTube video begins. 

The video is of a girl alone in an elevator, seemingly relaxed. However, the elevator seems to jolt and come to a stop. The girl looks alarmed and tries pressing some buttons, but nothing happens. The lights then flicker out, and the camera switches to night vision, so the, now freaked out, girl can be seen. Next thing you know, a figure that looks like a glow in the dark ghost falls from the ceiling. The girl screams bloody murder, and Harry wonders what the fuck he's watching. A couple seconds later, the lights come back on, and the elevator door opens. The view switches to a camera that boards the elevator. Harry now realizes the girl on the elevator is Selena Gomez, who looks very confused. A man with a microphone walks onto the elevator, and he can be seen laughing. "Selena, you just got played on the Play'd Halloween special! How do you feel?" Before Harry can hear Selena's response, Tom stops the video. Harry looks back towards Tom away from the monitor, waiting for an explanation. 

"Every year, the tv show 'Play'd' does a Halloween special, where they prank a celebrity. This year, they asked One Direction to be the ones played. Since you're the most popular in the band, they didn't want you being the one pranked, as they were afraid that might upset too many girls. Instead, they want you to help host, along with whatever other boys you decide not to prank. Since you the only one we know for sure it won't be, we decided you should be the one to decide which boy we should prank. After all, who knows them better?" Harry is a bit uncomfortable and really doesn't want to be the one to make this decision. However, he knows no matter what he says, Tom won't relent. 

"What will the prank be this year?" Harry asks. 

"It'll be the same as last year. It was apparently quite popular." Harry nods in response. Well that rules out Louis. He knows he's claustrophobic, and not fond of the dark. He's worried about Zayn, who tends to be moody. That leaves Liam and Niall. He supposes Niall is the most laid back, and most likely to find this all funny, so he decides to suggest him. Tom thanks him for his time, and says he'll give the boys instructions for what all the need to do on the day of the actual prank. 

Harry really hopes this all goes well. 

~~~ 

The boys are about to be back on tour (they had had a concert, but it was still in London) which means they'll be staying on the bus, and they still aren't talking to Louis. Harry feels awful, but Louis isn't even staying on their bus (Harry saw him packing with the crew) so it's hard to feel like he cares. However, Harry decides enough is enough, and today he's putting a stop to all this pettiness. He makes his move in the afternoon, day five of the fight. Him and Liam, Niall and Zayn are all relaxing on the couch (it's a tight squeeze, but they've fit five people before) and watching old reruns of some sitcoms. Harry is honestly to consumed in his thoughts to pay attention to it. Liam, who is sitting next to him, seems to notice. It's not surprising, as he always has been one of the more caring and observant people in their relationship (even if he hadn't been showing it the last couple of days). 

"Hey, Haz, what's got you down?" Harry can't help but cringe, knowing it was Louis who made that nickname for him. He's never cared before if the other boys used it, but it's now obvious how much this fight is getting to him. He guesses now is as good a time as any to try and put an end to the whole affair. Sighing, Harry leans over and grabs the remote, turning off the tv, and ignoring Niall's groans of protest. 

"Guys, I think we need to talk." All the boys look concerned, and Zayn asks, "What about, babe?" Harry can't help but wonder if they're all that oblivious to all that's going on, or if they really care about Louis that little. "Well, y'know, about everything going on. About Louis." Liam and Niall still are paying attention and nodding along, but Zayn takes out his phone at the mention of Louis' name, not at all interested in hearing anything about him. Harry's not really surprised. Zayn is the only one who hasn't uttered a single word to Louis since the beginning of the fight, not even on stage or in meetings. 

"Maybe you guys don't feel the same, but I miss him so much. And I don't want to be the only one to make up with him, because I know that will only cause more tension in our relationship. I just wanting all this fighting and drama to end, I want to go back to how our relationship used to be, with all of five of us. Don't you guys want that too?" Zayn still isn't paying attention, but Niall looks like he agrees, and Liam just looks reluctant. "I mean we have been a bit harsh. Maybe we should try to talk to him," Liam says, and Harry beams. He knows Niall already agrees, and once Liam is on board, Zayn will join too. He's so close to ending this dumb fight. 

Well, until Zayn interrupts. "Do you still want to make up with him, even if he cheats?" Zayn asks coldly, passing his phone that shows a picture to Harry. Harry squints, trying to make out what he's looking at, but Niall beats him to it. "That's Louis an' Eleanor!" "At her flat..." 

Harry can feel bile rising in his throat. Louis wouldn't do that. Louis would never cheat. But why wouldn't he? After all, who doesn't fuck their fiancée. 

Harry stands up quickly and rushes out of the room, ignoring his boyfriends' cries to come back and calm down. He rushes to their bedroom and his original plan is to just collapse on the bed, but he finds he's more upset in there as it all reminds him of Louis Louis Louis. So he instead grabs a jacket and runs out the front door before anyone can stop him. He puts his hood up, hoping to not be spotted, and walks to a nearby park, trying to let the fresh air relax him. He eventually finds a bench to sit on, and sits down. 

He can feel an anxiety attack coming on. He used to have them pretty often, when they first started performing, where he'd hyperventilate and cry backstage right before a concert, terrified he's mess up and disappoint everyone. He got through it each time, though, with the help of Louis. 

Of course his thoughts would drift back to him. It's all he seems to be able to think about. Despite how much thinking about Louis hurt, he still tried to think about what Louis would say when he couldn't breathe, because he really doesn't want to pass out in public. " _C'mon, babe, breathe for me. Think calm thoughts. Know I'll be here for you no matter what. You can do it, love, just relax, I believe in you_." It's like Louis is there with him, whispering words of encouragement, and he's slowly able to breathe again. However, as he finds himself calming down, he feels his panic and hurt being replaced with anger. 

How dare Louis cheat? And Harry guesses it's possible Louis didn't cheat, but he did choose to spend his last day in London with his fake fiancé instead of with his actual boyfriends. How dare Louis just give up on their relationship and relent to what their management team wanted? How dare Louis betray the boys like that? How dare he betray Harry like that? And how dare he keep invading Harry's head all the goddamn time. 

All Harry can see is red. He's mad at Louis, but he's also mad at himself. Hell, he's also mad at the boys, for being so petty. And at their management team for causing this whole mess. He's mad at the whole damn universe for making love so complicated. But the easiest person to be mad at right now is Louis, and he knows exactly how he can get back at him. 

He pulls out his cell. He sees three texts from Niall and a missed call from Liam, but he's not concerned with that right now. He goes to his contacts list and finds who he's looking for, pressing call. 

After the third dial, Harry hears "Hello?" coming from the other line. 

"Hi, Tom, I believe Louis would actually be a much better choice for the show." 

~~~ 

When Harry got home, he locked himself in the guest room, choosing to sob in his pillow instead of talking to his clearly concerned boyfriends. He must have drifted off at some point, because he awakes a couple hours later to his phone. Turning to the digital clock by the bed, he sees it's already evening, which means he's wasted half the day away. Harry searches for his phone, before realizing he left it in his back pocket when he fell asleep. 

Harry is shocked to see Eleanor is calling him. He almost ignores it, figuring she's just calling to rub in his face that she slept with the love of his life, but then realizes he has quite a bit he'd like to say to her. 

"What do you want?" he asks as soon as he answers, hoping she can hear the venom in your voice. 

"Well hello to you too, Harry." He can practically hear her rolling her eyes, and it only infuriates him more. 

"Why are you calling, huh? Is it to rub in my face how you get to be engaged with the man- or one of the men, I mean- I love, and how you then slept with him. Because if so, I don't want to fucking hear it. The rest of the boys were right. You are a whore." He's met with silence on the line, and all that can be heard is his heavy panting from the heated moment. Eleanor's voice is shaky when she speaks, and Harry can't tell if she's more pissed or hurt, but her words throw him off too much to think about that. 

"You're a prick, I hope you know that. You should know better than anyone not to believe everything the media says, right "womanizer"? "Man whore"? Louis came over because he was so upset over the fight going on between you guys that he couldn't even keep in his tears when I fucking mentioned you guys. I convinced him to try and make up with you guys again because I just want to see him happy, but it'd seem that didn't happen based on how you so kindly greeted me. And you know what, I hope you guys don't make up, because Louis doesn't deserve all the shit you guys give him. Get your shit together, and don't call me a whore. And don't you ever again accuse Louis of cheating when he'd give anything up for you. Fuck you." She hangs up before Harry could even respond, but he doesn't really know what he would've said anyways. 

She was right, he was a shitty boyfriend. He can't believe he thought Louis could cheat after the boy had never given him any reason to do anything other than trust him. He's such an awful person. 

Before he can spiral further into self loathing, there's a banging at the door- he'd forgotten that he'd locked it- and then Niall shouting, "Get your ass up. We have to load the tour bus up and get out of London within the hour." After that, Harry is too busy in the rush of packing and making sure they have everything to even think about all that's going on. As soon as the bus actually gets moving he's exhausted, and collapses right onto a bunk, not even taking off his skinny jeans. He falls into a deep sleep, far too tired to think about righting the terrible wrong he committed earlier. 

~~~ 

The tour is hectic as usual. As soon as Harry wakes up, he has a Skype meeting with some of their producers, then he has a training session. After that he scarfs down some lunch, jumps in the shower, and then rushes off with Liam, Zayn, and Niall in their Range Rover to the stadium they are performing at that night. The best part of the action packed day was that gave him no time to think, meaning he couldn't focus on all of the shit going on at the moment, which gave him a chance to kind of relax, ironic as it sounds. 

However, it all came crashing down when he saw Louis. He had been getting ready with the boys, sans Louis, and Lou was running a brush through his long, tangled hair. All the boys were talking and laughing, enjoying themselves as usual. He notices Lou had stopped brushing his hair and turns the swivel chair he was in to see why. He sees Lou is saying hi to Louis, who had just came in the room. All of the boys continue on as they had been, acting as though Louis wasn't even there. Louis' eyes scan across the room, looking to see if any of the boys will show an ounce of care for him. His eyes land on Harry last, and they make eye contact. Harry can see the desperation in his eyes, begging for Harry to show him that he is still loved. But when he sees those blue eyes, the memory of the awful thing he did the day before comes rushing back, and the guilt overwhelms him. He averts his eyes, because thinking about what he did is painful. 

Louis leaves after that, mumbling something to Lou no one else could hear. Harry feels even worse than before, but there's not much he can do. But after this concert, he's going to make sure he fixes everything. 

(He tries to ignore that he's been saying that for days). 

~~~ 

After a tense concert, Louis rushes off the stage, and is out of the venues before Harry even has a chance to talk to him. It's probably just as well, though, as the guilt would've most likely made him chicken out, and it's the rest of the boys he really needs to talk to. They enter the tour bus, and all the boys except Harry head straight to their bunks, clearly exhausted. Harry, however, stands in their living room (well, it's not quite a room, but it is the area with a couch and tv) and mentally prepares all he's gonna say. He takes a deep breathe, and says, "Before you guys go to bed, can you come here? We need to talk." 

Liam and Niall both groan in response, looking longingly at their beds, while Zayn mumbles something like "because the last talk went so well," but they all sit on the couch in front of Harry nonetheless. Harry is trembling, his nerves consuming him as he fears what could happen if he says the wrong thing. He feels like their relationship is crumbling, and he's the only one who can glue it back together. "I don't know where to start," Harry begins, voice shaking as the boys all look at him expectantly. 

"Let me guess, it's about Louis, and how you just feel so bad and can't cope without your favorite boyfriend, even if he is a lying, cheating whore." That was Zayn, of course, bitter as ever. Liam and Niall gape at him, not able to believe he would be so cold, but Harry was expecting it. He closes his eyes and counts to ten, reminding himself that it's up to him to fix this mess. 

"Eleanor called me." All of the boys faces morph into complete anger, and ok, that's not what Harry was planning on beginning with, but he can't go back now. Before the boys can interrupt him, he continues. "I was just as mad when I first heard her voice. But she said that she had made Louis go to her flat with her, because he cried whenever she mentioned us. He's heartbroken, and we were idiots for ever thinking he would cheat." Niall and Liam are staring at the ground guiltily, Niall with tears in his eyes, and Harry can see even Zayn feels bad. But then Zayn's gaze hardens, and he asks, "Well, then why did you continue ignoring him? If you knew he didn't cheat, why didn't you apologize to him?" Harry pauses, before responding, "Well, because... Because I did something really bad. And I'm not sure I can look him in the eyes until I fix it." 

All of the boys soften at that, and Niall reassures him, "It's ok, Harry. We all ignored him and accused him of something awful. I'm sure he'll forgive all of us." 

Harry takes an aggravated breath, because that's not the issue. "No, I... On that day I tried to talk to you guys and we saw the tabloid and all thought Louis was cheating, I was mad. I was hurt, and I couldn't control my emotions and I wanted to hurt him, how he hurt me. So... So I...." Liam pulls him into his lap, wrapping his strong arms around him. Harry's too tall for this to realistically work, but it does, and he feels comforted immediately. 

"A few days ago, Tom called me in for a meeting. He said there was going to be an annual Halloween special One Direction was going to be on. Apparently, every year this show pulls a prank on a famous celebrity, and records it, while their friends are in the back, having their reactions filmed. It involves being locked in an elevator in the dark. Tom asked me who from the band should be the one pranked- apparently I was already ruled out, so they asked me to choose. I knew it couldn't be Louis, because he's claustrophobic and doesn't like the dark. I decided Niall was the most laid-back, and might find it funny, so I chose him." Harry has to stop, already choking up thinking about what he did. The boys all pat him comfortably, urging him to continue. 

"After the tabloid incident, I went to the park. I was so mad I couldn't even think. I wanted revenge. So, I called Tom. I said Louis would be the perfect fit for the prank instead. He asked me if I was sure, because I couldn't change my mind after this. I said yes, it was so stupid but I said yes and I can't back out now." All the boys are unsure how to react when Harry breaks down into sobs, but are quick to comfort him. "It's not that bad, Harry. Louis has been in tons of crowds, I'm sure his claustrophobia isn't that bad anymore. He'll probably find it funny and laugh it off." Harry groans, not finding Liam's words at all reassuring. 

"You don't get it, guys. Something really bad happened to him when he was little involving a small, dark space. He was fucking traumatized." All the boys are shocked, having never heard this. They knew he had a reason he was afraid of small spaces, but they didn't know it was severe enough to be considered "trauma." 

"Well, it was years ago. I'm sure he's better now," says Zayn. "Yeah, besides, he's been on loads of elevators with us. He obviously doesn't like them, but not enough for anything bad to happen. I'm sure when we explain everything to him, he'll just laugh it off." 

Harry sniffles and rubs the back of his hand against his nose. "I guess." All the boys sign in relief, glad they helped their boyfriend feel better. 

"That's the spirit. Now let's go to bed. Tomorrow, we can talk to Louis again, and make everything right after the show." 

The boys all head to bed, Harry trying to ignore the sinking feeling in his stomach. 

~~~ 

"The most important thing is that he has no idea of the prank that's going to be played on him. We need the reaction to be genuine as possible." 

Niall, Harry, Liam and Zayn were all in a meeting with Tom and the producer of the show, Prank'd, they were set to be on that night. "We're going to turn the set into a hotel. You have to make sure Louis doesn't see anything that could give away that it isn't. One of you will make sure he gets on the elevator- you can get on with him, but make sure you get out before the doors close. I don't care how you guys get him on there, the "lobby" won't be filmed. While that's happening, the other three of you will take the stairs. You can say you're going to your room, when really you'll be going to the second floor, where we have monitors showing what's happening on the elevator. We'll be filming your reactions, which will be playing in the corner of viewers' screens while we show what's happening to Louis. So who is gonna make sure he gets on the elevator?" 

The boys all look at each other, and are all shocked when Harry raises his hand. He shrugs, "I think he'll feel better if I am with him right beforehand." The boys all nod, knowing he's right, since Louis was always closest to Harry. 

"Sounds good. When you get him on, just rush up to the monitoring room, the effects won't begin until you get there. Also, to ensure maximum safety, it's not a real elevator. It'll feel like it's moving and have all the buttons that light up, and will rumble when it stops. It'll feel just like an elevator, but won't move an inch." Harry feels a bit more comfortable hearing that. At least he knows Louis will be safe, even if he gets scared. Tom stands up, clapping his hands together. "Glad we got that all sorted out. Now go and get in the car. We have to be at the venue in an hour to start rehearsing. Let's go." 

~~~ 

After two hours, their stage rehearsal is finally done, and Louis is still no where to be seen. The boys all head to the dressing room, all of them except Harry joking and laughing together. Zayn collapses onto a chair that Lou is standing near, always the first to get his hair done since he takes the longest. Liam and Niall sits down on the couch, while Harry grabs a bottle of water. 

They each are wearing their Halloween costumes- Zayn as a vampire, Liam as a cowboy, Niall as a leprechaun, and Harry as a pirate. They're all very simple costumes, and while they wanted matching props, they couldn't even dance very well usually, doing so with swords or lassos was a disaster waiting to happen. Harry feels bad for not telling Louis he needed to wear a costume, but he felt like ignoring him for a week and then calling him just to tell him what to wear seemed cold. 

Harry observes the room and wonders how the boys are all relaxed and not freaking out about Louis' absence. 

"Is no one else concerned that Louis still isn't here?" The boys all glance at Harry, and Liam responds disinterestedly, "He's been late to all of our concerts and warm ups this week. It's nothing new." Harry feels absolutely awful he hasn't noticed yet, but he's not sure what's worse- the fact he didn't notice, or the fact the rest of his boyfriends noticed, and just didn't care. 

"Yeah, I've noticed that. What's going on with him?" Lou jumps in. The boys all tense up at her question, but Zayn is the first to respond. "We just had a bit of a fight with him, I think he's just trying to keep his distance for a bit." Well that's an understatement. 

"It's ok though, because we're gonna make up with him tonight!" Niall adds in, always the optimist. Harry just hopes he's right. 

~~~ 

It's a little under an hour before the show, and the boys are all warming up. Louis is still no where in sight, and Harry is getting progressively more freaked out, until he finally snaps. "Guys, where is he? What if he left us because we were so mean? What if he's in danger?" The boys rush to soothe him, and Liam offers to go find him. 

Harry tries singing with Niall and Zayn to calm his nerves, but he doesn't relax until Liam finally comes back with Louis. Louis is in a daze when he comes, seemingly having no idea what's going on. Harry can't really blame him, since they did a complete 180 on their treatment of him. Niall finally gets his attention by snapping in his face, and the boys all laugh and relax when they see Louis is seemingly better. 

Still, the guilt of seeing Louis and knowing what they were going to do tonight takes its toll on Harry. He can't look Louis in the eye, but can at the very least apologize. "We know we've kinda been assholes to you lately,"-well that's an understatement- "and haven't even let you apologize, but we figured we could do that tonight. Right now, we just want to have an awesome concert. We figure the fans deserve that." Louis looks hesitant and confused, but agrees anyway. Harry almost wishes Louis would refuse to trust them and walk away. It's what they deserved. 

During the warm ups, Harry is tense and nervous, but Louis is way worse. He's facing the wall to practice, shoulders tensed and body stiff, but still beautiful as ever. The tights he was wearing hugged his perfect bum, and his hair is quiffed up in the way Harry always liked. It's during his inspection that he realizes he's dressed as Peter Pan, and Harry isn't sure if he wants to laugh or cry. Of course Harry inadvertently would dress as Louis' enemy (or close enough, at least. Thank god he didn't have a hook). It felt like a bad omen, and awful irony. Harry didn't mean to be a villain, but here he was. The realization just makes Harry feel worse, but he feels like he'll feel better if he can maybe help Louis. He approaches Louis and rubs his shoulders, knowing he always loved his massages. Louis jumps at the contact, but relaxes when Harry talks to him. 

"Calm down, Lou, you're so tense. It'll be alright, ok?" When Louis turns around him, burrowing his head into Harry's chest because of the height difference that Harry always loved, Harry wants to cry, because he realizes this is his first time touching him in a week. 

He wants to cry even more when he feels Louis sobbing against his chest. 

"Shh babe, I'm so sorry for this week, but we can talk about all of it later. We have a concert to get to. Just remember I love you." Harry just hopes Louis remembers that after he pulls that awful prank. 

~~~ 

After the show, all of the boys are buzzing- all of the boys except Harry that is. After they all change out of their costumes, Harry watches on as the boys shamelessly flirt with Louis, always catching themselves when they almost let information about the prank slip, and Harry wonders how they feel no guilt. They're acting like the past week of shunning Louis never happened, and as if they aren't about to put him through his biggest fear. 

The entire car ride is filled with laughter, except for from Harry, who feels nauseous. He's such a shitty person, but at least he feels guilt. The lack of remorse the other boys are showing almost scares Harry. Was Louis really that unimportant to them? Was the relationship? 

On the way into the "hotel," Niall, Liam and Zayn are all talking to Louis, grabbing his attention if he ever tries to turn around and walk forward, so he won't see that what they're entering is definitely not actually a hotel. 

When they reach the "lobby," Harry knows it's time for him to get Louis on the elevator, and that there will be hell to pay if he doesn't. He wipes his sweaty palms off on his jeans, and grabs Louis' hand, holding him back from the boys running up the stairs. It briefly occurs to Harry that Louis always wants all of the boys to take the stairs, due to his claustrophobia, and he feels even worse. Regardless, "the show must go on." 

"Can we please take the elevator? I'm exhausted," that's not a complete lie, this whole fight has completely drained Harry, and he feels like he could sleep for days. The only thing is that he isn't actually going to take the elevator. It's not even a real elevator. 

He sees how Louis hesitates, how much he would rather take the stairs, but smiles and nods. Because Louis is willing to do anything for Harry. Because Louis trusts Harry with his whole being, and Harry couldn't even return the favor, despite being the real liar. God Harry wants to cry. 

They head to the elevator, and Harry presses a random number, not even paying attention. As soon as he does that, the door begins closing, and he says some bullshit about forgetting his purse- he doesn't even have a purse- and runs off the elevator, immediately heading to the stairs. 

Harry has a sinking feeling in his chest, he knows how awful this is going to feel for Louis. But he pushes it out of his head, telling himself it'll only be a couple minutes, and Louis won't actually get hurt. Afterwards, they'll all laugh it off and forgive each other and everything would go back to normal. Harry wishes he actually believed that. 

"Ah, and here was have the last member of the band, Harry Styles!" The host of the show is introducing him as soon as he enters the room. There's a table with various monitors displaying Louis on the elevator, each from different angles, and various cameras around the room filming their own reactions. Zayn, Liam, Niall and the host all sit in front of the table, and there's a spare chair that Harry sits in. He says hello and smiles, hoping it doesn't look as fake as it is. 

After that, they all turn to look at the monitors, where they see Louis pressing some buttons, seeming alarmed even though the prank hasn't even started. "Wow, he looks nervous and the elevator hasn't even "broke down" yet," Liam jokes, but there's a twinge of worry in his voice. 

"Well he's in for a treat then, isn't he," the host laughs along with the other boys. Harry thinks they sound evil. 

"Let's begin," the host says, and then presses a button. Almost instantly, the boys can see the elevator shake a bit, and then stop. Louis backs up against the wall, eyes widening in alarm. He begins breathing heavily, and looks ready to pass out. Then the lights turn off. The the monitors displaying the videos from the elevator had no audio, but the scream was so loud, everyone in the room could hear it. The cameras on the elevator switched to "night vision" revealing Louis curled up in a ball in the corner of the elevator, rocking back and forth and grasping at his hair. 

Everyone stared in shock, before jumping into action. Tom began screaming for the cameras to stop, whiled the host was screaming for them to not stop, because "this is gold." 

"If you don't stop we will sue your ass," one of the PR managers for One Direction that was there yelled at the host. 

"Sue me? I'll sue all of you for giving us a little bitch for our show." Harry loses it at that. He punches the host straight in the face, hearing a satisfying crack. Everyone seems to freeze, but Harry wastes no time trying to get to Louis, rushing down the stairs, ignoring the cries of "I'll sue you for that too!" 

When he reaches the elevator, it was still closed, attendants and producers of the show standing to the side, along with a very alarmed and confused cameraman. Harry can hear Louis' sobs and he'd rather stab himself than have to listen to Louis fall apart, unable to help him. 

"Why the fuck are the doors not open?" Liam yells, who had followed Harry down. 

"I'm sorry, sir, it's on a set program, we can't stop it. The door will open when it's done," a nervous looking lady clutching onto a clipboard responds. 

"Fuck that," Harry mutters under his breath. 

You know the stories of women who lifted cars off of their babies, of people getting seemingly super strength in times of crisis? That's kind of what happened to Harry. He shoved his fingers between the closed elevator doors, and pushed them apart, as hard as he could, ignoring the protests of people behind him. Everyone is shocked when the door moves. He pushes it open until he can fit through, and then rushes to Louis' side, ignoring the fake, glowing ghost hanging from the ceiling he hit his head on that Louis seemingly hadn't even noticed. Despite there being little light, it's easy to find Louis, who is whimpering loudly. 

"Babe, it's me, it's Harry. Please calm down, everything is ok." If this was a normal anxiety attacks, like the ones he had helped Louis through before, this would've been effective. But this wasn't a normal anxiety attack, and it just made things worse. Louis screamed again, flailing his arms, punching Harry right in the eye. Harry deserved it though. Harry deserved much worse. 

Everything Harry attempted just made things worse, until the lights finally turned back on, and the doors opened all the way. 

That's when Harry saw blood. 

It was running down the back of Louis' neck. It'd seem he had hit his head when he collapsed. 

Harry stumbled backwards, hitting the wall before sliding down. 

Louis was hurt. 

Louis wasn't supposed to get hurt. They said he would be safe. This was Harry's fault. He's the one who signed him up for this, tricked him into this. What was wrong with him? 

Soon he heard people shouting for a medic. People kept trying to calm down Louis, but he kept screaming and crying and flailing and kicking, shoutinging "mummy" and "no" and other incoherent phrases. He was hitting other people, but mostly just hurt himself. Harry could only sit back and watch in horror. 

Soon there was shouts of "he's dangerous" and "tranquilize him," and a medic came and injected him with something, while various other doctors held him still. Slowly, he lost all of his fight, and went lax in their arms, eyes closed. He was carried onto a stretcher, and then taken on an ambulance. Harry heard murmurs all around him, "shock" and "trauma" floating through his head. 

He's snapped out of his daze when Zayn puts his hand on his shoulder. The medics are gone with Louis, and the producers and PR managers are running amok, all in a panic, wondering what they can do about this catastrophe. The boys of One Direction- minus Louis- are left alone on the elevator. Harry is curled up in a corner, similar to how Louis had been earlier, with Zayn crouching next to him, and Liam and Niall peering down at him in concern. 

"Are you alright?" Zayn asks hesitantly. That's when Harry loses it. All of the anger and frustration he'd been harboring for a week finally comes boiling over. Harry jumps up, sending Zayn sprawling onto his back. He pounces on him, grabbing his shirt, pulling him up a bit so they're face to face. 

"No, Zayn, I'm not ok you fucking prick. Louis, the love of my life, who I thought you loved too, is in a hospital, because you were jealous and petty and downright mean, and made me feel like I had to be the same. You fucking turned me against Louis and you don't even feel bad, after a week of ignoring him and leaving him to suffer and then putting him through his worst nightmare, and you don't even care," Harry shouts, pulling his fist back to swing, until Liam grabs his arm back and hauls him up. 

"Harry, calm down!" Harry pushes Liam, eyes wild. "Don't tell me to calm down. This is just as much your fault as him. You're the one who started this whole fight, all because you were mad at Louis for wearing a ring, a ring he was only wearing to protect us. A stupid fucking ring!" Harry is panting at the end of his rant, looking like a cornered wild animal, ready to attack at any moment. Harry is almost never aggressive. Because of his workouts, he's strong, but he rarely physically hurts anyone. When he's mad, he closes himself off, stews in his own anger, until it eventually boils over in the form of tears, and that's that. So to say the other boys are shocked would be an understatement. After their moment of shock, Zayn, who is still lying on the ground, propping himself up with his arm, speaks up, hesitantly, as if he isn't sure if his fear or anger towards Harry is more powerful. 

"You ignored him just as much. And you're the one who signed him up for this prank." 

And that's the difference. This is what makes Harry's anger so much different than his normal anger. Because as angry as he is at everyone around him, the person he's maddest at is himself. Because what he did the unforgivable. He hurt the boy he promised to take care of and protect. He hurt Louis. 

"I- I know. I'm awful. I hurt him so much. I- I'm a monster!" Harry sobs, shoulders shaking as he slides to the ground, breaking. "I love him so much but all I've done is cause him pain. He must hate me. I hate me. I hate myself, I hate myself, I hate myself," Harry says it over and over again, a self deprecating mantra. 

The boys seem to forget about the violence Harry just inflected upon them, and huddle together in a group hug, all needing comfort. Harry wonders if Louis will ever forgive him and the boys. Hell, Harry wonders if he'll be able to forgive them himself. 

But the saddest, scariest part, perhaps, is that he isn't sure if he'll ever be able to forgive himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I have some questions I'd love for you guys to answer in the comments section after having read this chapter. How did this change your perception of the boys? Did you think any of the boys' actions were justified? What do you think is going to happen next? Please answer any of these questions if you'd like, and please please please leave feedback, it means a lot to me when you guys do that (kudos and bookmarks are appreciated too lol). Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is pretty long, and I worked really hard on it, so I really hope everyone likes it.  
> Just some clarification before you read. This whole story has been in third person, but the first chapter was Louis' perspective, and the second was Harry's. In this chapter, it changes quite a bit, but it should be pretty easy to recognize and follow. Also, certain parts of this will be italicized. This means it's either in the past, or hand written.  
> Now, enjoy!

_Louis Tomlinson was born into a loving family. Well, that's not entirely true. But the remnants of one were there._

_Louis' mother was a kind woman who saw the good in everyone, and perhaps that was her downfall. She was scared when she had found out she was pregnant, but loved her child immediately. Unfortunately, the man who had impregnated her was a coward, and hit the road as soon as he found out he'd knocked a girl up. She was heartbroken, as she had thought he truly loved her. She was naive, and you'd think she would've learned. But she didn't. When she met someone at the diner she worked at while she was 7 months pregnant, who left her a large tip and his number, she was immediately head over heels. They hit it off instantly, mostly because she had no one in her life since being knocked up, labeled and abandoned as a slut by everyone she cared about. It was a conservative town, and single mothers were looked at with disgust. When someone actually showed interest in her, and was even willing to help her with her pregnancy, she was destined to fall in love. Or maybe doomed is a better word. They got married shortly after she gave birth, and he became an official guardian of the baby- Louis. They didn't have a ceremony, just went to the townhall, but it was enough. Their love was enough._ _Until it wasn't._

_The change in their relationship was so subtle and gradual, she didn't even notice it until it was too late. They couldn't afford a nanny, and Louis was still too young for any cheap day cares in the area. The only solution was staying unemployed, as she had been since a week before her due date. Her husband fully supported her, but now there was only one steady income in the family, so he had to work more hours. More hours led to stress, stress led to drinking, drinking led to an addiction. He was usually drunk when he was home, and if he wasn't, he was exhausted. It took a toll on him, just as much as it did on her. Soon he became harsher in his demands- while at first he'd understood that taking care of a newborn took lots of time and was anything but easy, he eventually saw it as nothing compared to his job. So he expected his meals always on time, clothes always washed, rooms always cleaned, fridge fully stocked._

_The first time he hit her, Louis was 8 months old. He was furious to come home and see there was no alcohol. He asked her why this was, and the exhausted woman snidely responded that it was because he drank all the goddamn time and more alcohol was the last thing he needed. A slap across the face shut her right up. He passed out shortly after that, and woke up the next morning with a hangover and his wife packing all of her stuff, sobbing, and carrying their child. He didn't remember what happened, but when he saw the bruise on her cheek, he just knew. He apologized profusely. He swore it was just because he was drunk, and he would get better. And she said ok. She stayed because he was the only person to stay with her. He was better, until he wasn't. And the cycle would repeat, each period of sobriety decreasing each time, until it was constant. Everything she did was for her child. He was her whole world, and she thought staying was the best option. She had no family to take her in, no money, no job. Her child deserved a warm house with a bed and a meal every night. But that didn't change the fact that it wasn't a good situation. It was when Louis was four that his father began abusing him. His mother tried to take the brute of it, but she was no match against him._

_It was when he was 6 years old that she drew the line. Coming home from school one day, Louis had asked, "Mummy, why don't the other boys at school have bruises like mine?" For as long as he could remember, his dad had hit him, so he figured that's just the way it was meant to be. But on that day, his friend Jimmy had been hit in the arm by a baseball, and got a nasty bruise. All the other boys thought it was cool, and that's when he realized none of the other boys had bruises like him. They associated them with fun, rather than pain, and would flaunt them, rather than hide them. But he was sure there was a logical answer for why they weren't like him, and he would just ask his mom. She knew everything. It was an innocent question, but it caught her off guard. It hit her all of a sudden, that this wasn't right, that even if she was only staying so her son could have a roof and food, she was denying him a normal childhood. After that she began planning. She secretly contacted a women's battered shelter, and within a month, she had an escape plan ready. She had considered telling Louis beforehand, but he was young and might accidentally tell his father. The women at the shelter told her to leave while he was out, but she wanted to say to his face that she was leaving his sorry ass. She deserved that satisfaction. Only it didn't work out so well._

~~~

The first thing Louis realizes when he wakes up is that he is in a hospital room. He always hated hospitals and the memories attached, but right now his main concern is why he was here. His head aches and his mouth is dry. There's an IV in his arm that he makes sure not to disrupt, and a heart monitor by him that confirms he is, in fact, alive. He also notices a button on the side of the bed that he knows would summon a nurse if he pressed it, but he doesn't want to talk to anyone at the moment, even if he would love to ask for a glass of water. He leans back and closes his eyes, trying to remember what had happened. He remembers that he had been fighting with the boys for about a week, and had finally decided he would end the relationship. But then they had started being nice to him, and had even apologized. After that they had a concert and then headed to a hotel, and then... Well, Louis can't really remember what happened next. He glanced around the room and saw that none of the boys were there. He wondered if he had imagined them making up with him, some dream he'd had while comatose in the hospital, but desperately hoped that wasn't the case. The harder he tried to think about how he had wound up here, the more his head hurt, so eventually gave up and let himself fall back asleep

~~~

_After his mother was shot, Louis was whisked off to the hospital, his pale, shaking frame immediate reason for concern. He had gone into shock, and was kept at the hospital for days, although he didn't really remember any of it. After he recovered (or at least was deemed well enough to be discharged), he was put in the foster care system. No one wanted him, since he never spoke, and had to be forced to eat. He had to have his own room, too, because he slept with the light on, and constantly woke up screaming. He needed extensive therapy and possibly medication for him to recover, but the government didn't provide enough money to the foster system for any of that, which meant for months he showed little improvement._

_The worst day was when an older boy thought it would be funny to lock him in a dark closet. That was when he had his first severe flashback. He thought he was back in the cabinet, and began screaming and sobbing. He went wild trying to escape, banging his arms, head, and knees. The boy who had put him in there was horrified at the noises coming out from the 7 year old, and knew he would be in serious trouble if he got caught, so he ran away, leaving the poor boy all alone. It was an hour later that Louis was found, passed out in the closet. He was rushed to the hospital, all the staff panicking._

_I_ _t's the hospital where Jay Deakin meets Louis. She instantly falls in love with the young, blue-eyed patient. When she heard his story, she was instantly heartbroken and knew she had to save him. He had the same blue eyes as her daughters, and soon he was all she thought about, as if he was her own child. It was three months later that Louis was adopted by his favorite nurse, Miss Jay. It was three weeks after that when he had his first therapy appointment. It was two weeks after that he spoke his first full sentence since his mother's death. It was a month after that he called Jay "mummy." It was two weeks after that he let his sisters hug him without crying. It was three months after that that he was put back into the school system. And a year after the incident, Louis was attending school and therapy regularly, eating and speaking normally, and had a new family he loved. And things weren't perfect, but it felt like it they could be enough._

~~~

The next time Louis woke up, his head only felt marginally better, while his throat felt like it was on fire. He let out a loud groan, hoping that would somehow summon a cold glass of water. It didn't, so he begrudgingly opened his eyes to see if there was anyone close enough to get him a water. He was met with the sight of all four of his boyfriends, staring at him wide-eyed. Each of them were sitting in the uncomfortable guest chairs, looking at a loss of words. After about 30 seconds, Louis got a bit uncomfortable of their staring, and choked out, "water?" All four boys jump up, each shouting some variation of "I'll get it!" before rushing out the room.

Well that was odd.

It was a few minutes later that Harry returns with a bottle of water, none of the other boys in sight. "They're just... letting everyone know you're up," he mumbles out. Louis wasn't really sure why three people would be needed to do that, but he was too busy greedily gulping down the water to really care. When he had finished about half the bottle, he set it down with a content sigh, his sore throat and headache having lessened considerably. He looks to his side to see Harry staring at the floor as if it was the most interesting thing in the world, and felt a bit annoyed. Why were the boys all looking like they were afraid to even talk to Louis?

"What happened?" Louis finally asks, tired of the silence. Harry's head snaps up, seemingly surprised that Louis had spoken to him. He seemed cautious when he replies, "What do you remember?"

Louis was confused at the clear lack of answer, but responds anyways. "Um, I remember us all having a fight, that lasted a whole week. And then I remember you guys all being nice to me out of the blue, and then we had a concert, and then we went to the hotel, and then... Well I don't remember much after we reached the lobby."

"Oh," is all Harry says.

"Oh? Are you going to tell me what happened?"

Harry seems really nervous, but opens his mouth to reply. However, before he can say anything, a doctor walks in, and Harry looks like he was counting his blessings.

"Ah, Mr. Tomlinson, how are we feeling?" a middle-aged woman asks him, checking his vitals.

"Uh, I'm ok, I guess. My head hurts and my throats a bit sore, and I'm confused as all hell, but besides that I'm fine."

"Oh, well I can up the pain meds."

"Can you also tell me why the hell I'm here?" Louis snaps, and he's aware it was incredibly rude, but he just wanted some damn answers.

The doctor looks affronted, but still responds, "Oh, well I don't know much, just that when they wheeled you in, you had a bloody bump on the back of your head, and you were sedated." Louis was shocked. Why the fuck would he be sedated? The doctor, who looked very uncomfortable, checks a few more things, then made her escape, not wanting to deal with the wrath of the angsty pop star. Harry leaves shortly after when he gets a phone call.

Louis feel tears prick at the back of his eyes. He is so confused and nobody is giving him any answers. He knows crying wouldn't solve anything, though, so he just turns on the tv in the room to distract himself. He surfs through a few channels, before stopping on an entertainment channel when he sees Harry's face.

"- adding to the seemingly never ending drama of international boy band, One Direction, leading man and heart throb Harry Styles is apparently involved in a law suit. Although few details have been released, an exclusive source did say the law suit is the result of Styles punching a tv producer in the face after hearing him insult his band mate, Louis Tomlinson. Could this have to do with the boys' recently cancelled show, and seeming disappearance from the eyes of the media? No one is sure, but-"

Louis clicks the tv off after that, feeling even more confused than before. Why was there a producer insulting him, and why was he even in contact with Harry? Did this happen to do with why he was in the hospital? Albeit guilty about all the trouble Harry was in, Louis can't help but be touched his boyfriend defended his honor, especially considering he hadn't even been sure he cared about him anymore.

Louis' train of thought is once again cut off when Harry enters the room. Louis' mind is finally clear enough to get a close look at Harry's face, and he can't help but feel horrified. On top of his greasy hair and dark bags under his eyes, Harry has a black eye. Although faded, Louis can't believe he had missed it. Louis' hand flings to his mouth. "Oh Harry, baby!" Harry's eyes widen in alarm. "What happened to your eye?" Louis gasps, "Does this have to do with the producer you punched? Oh god, it's all my fault, isn't it?" Lousy bursts into tears, the fear, confusion, and frustration all finally boiling over.

Harry rushes over to Louis' side. "Oh no, no, no, no baby. This isn't your fault at all. You've done absolutely nothing wrong. But... how do you know about the producer incident?"

"I saw it on tv," Louis responds, finding his nerves only slightly settled. Harry pales at those words. "What... What else did you see on tv?" Louis looked at him strangely. "Uh, nothing, I turned it off after that. Why?" Harry exhales in relief. "No reason." Louis nods slowly, finding himself even more confused than when he first woke up. Harry was definitely hiding something from him, and he needed to know what.

~~~

After his breakdown in the elevator, Harry had pulled himself together, and rushed himself and the boys to the hospital. Upon arrival, they had been informed they would need to keep Louis sedated anywhere between 12 and 36 hours, and that the boys wouldn't be allowed to visit him until then. The doctors needed to put him under heavy sedation to stitch up the cut on his head. Due to the severity of the location, if he woke up in the middle of the surgery in a panic, the results could be potentially fatal. The word "fatal" scared Harry to his core, even if they assured him there was no chance of Louis actually dying, seeing as he was in the hands of UK's finest medical care. They promised to contact him when they saw signs of Louis waking.

The boys all returned to a hotel their management had booked in a panic, after cancelling their upcoming shows. The tour was basically done anyways, and it would only cause more trouble if they attempted to perform while Louis was in a hospital.

At the hotel, all the boys had been quiet, unsure of how to approach the elephant in the room. In the end, it was the ever peaceful Niall who broke the ice.

"Guys, I know there's a lot of shit going on, we were complete asses to Louis and our relationship is a wee bit in shambles, but let's please forget about it for now. All of our hearts are broken, and tip toeing around each other isn't going to solve anything. I know there's a lot to sort out, but we can do all of that when Louis wakes up. For now, can we all please just be together? We're all upset, and we could benefit from some comfort." After that, the boys had all cuddled in the king sized bed while watching sitcom reruns, all trying to keep a good attitude. They were all both praying for and dreading Louis' awakening, wanting to fix their mistakes but also fearful of the oncoming shit storm.

They ended up getting a call the next day at around 10 am. A nurse informed them that they believed Louis had actually woken up the night before, and should wake up again soon. The boys all rushed to the hospital, haphazardly throwing on sweats and t-shirts, and shoving themselves into a black van. Fortunately, they weren't spotted by any paps, and the paps weren't allowed within 100 yards of the hospital.

The boys went with Paul up to Louis' room, which was in a private wing. Upon entering his room, Harry couldn't help but feel a bit light-headed. Louis was lying in the hospital room with various wires attached all over his body, and he was so pale that he looked dead. And it was all Harry's fault. It seemed Niall noticed Harry's despair, as he leaned over to rub his back comfortingly. Harry let out a sigh, willing himself not to cry.

There were four chairs surrounding Louis' bed, and each boy took one. They all sat quietly, waiting for Louis to wake up. There wasn't much to do until then, all too consumed with guilt to attempt to comfort each other. After about an hour of silence, they hear shuffling come from the hospital bed, and all snap their heads. For the first time in literal days, they see Louis awake, and are either too shocked or caught off guard to react.

After moments of staring, Louis asks for a glass of water, and they are snapped into action, each stumbling to do what they can to help. All of the boys rush out of the room, both to get Louis water, and to escape the tense environment. After they exit and the door shuts, they pause, all looking at each other. "So, I guess we don't really all need to get him water..." Liam speaks up. The boys all nod, but none of them make a move to return to the room.

"I'll go call management and update them," Zayn says, seeming relieved he thought of an excuse to leave.

"I'll let Louis' family know," Niall adds.

Liam and Harry awkwardly stare at each other, debating who's going to be the one to think of a reason to not have to go back to Louis.

"I'll find a doctor and let them know Louis is awake," Liam eventually says, before walking off. Harry sighs, but goes off to find some water for Louis. With the boys' attitudes so far, he knows this is going to be a long week. Nonetheless, Harry goes to get Louis a bottle of water, hurrying when he realizes he'd left Louis waiting. No matter how much he dreads going back into the room where guilt chokes him, he knows it's not Louis' fault, and he shouldn't be punished for it- he had been punished for unjust reasons enough, already.

When Harry gives Louis the water bottle, he gulps most of down in one sip, and Harry cringes, thinking about how thirsty he must have been. He looks down- the longer he stares at Louis, the worse he feels. It only gets worse when Louis questions him about what happened. He doesn't know what to say. Does he lie? Does he tell the truth? He knows he should obviously do the latter, but then Louis would hate him, and he's not sure he could survive that. Maybe Louis just doesn't need to know what happened.

In the end, Harry mostly avoids directly answering any of Louis' questions, needing more time to think before he decides what to say. He cringes when the doctor comes in and Louis snaps at them, but he can't really blame him. If anything, he can only blame himself.

Harry feels grateful when he gets a phone call, and he answers it without even checking the caller ID.

"Harry, thank god I reached you. What the hell is happening? I see my son on the news because he's involved in a lawsuit, and Jay is calling me, sobbing, because her son is in the hospital. And my son never thinks to tell his own mother what is happening!" Oh yeah, that would've been a good idea.

Harry sighs, "I'm sorry, mum, I just- everything has been so hectic. I feel like everything is falling apart, and I don't know what to do. And the worst part is, I have no one to blame but myself!" Harry is sniffling by the end, overcome by emotion.

"Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry, you should've let me known things were going poorly, you know you're always welcome back home when you need a break," Anne coos.

"Yeah, I know. I might take you up on that soon, but there's too much going on right now. I can't afford to take a break. I can't even afford to take this phone call, honestly."

"In that case, call me back when you do have time. I'm always here for you. I love you so much."

"I love you, too, mum." Harry hangs up the phone, and despite his mother almost always being able to cheer him up, he actually feels worse. Here he is, having his loving mother comfort him, when he's the last person in this shit storm who deserves comforting. He's awful.

Harry goes back into Louis' room, because he knows that's who actually does deserve comfort. Harry runs his hand through his hair when he enters the room, trying to ignore how greasy it felt. The tense and stressful atmosphere feels like it was physically weighing him down, and he'd only been in there for mere seconds. Harry is snapped out of his pity party when he hears Louis gasp.

"Oh Harry, baby! What happened to your eye?" And oh yeah, Harry had a black eye, didn't he? Because Louis punched him in the elevator while having a panic attack that was all Harry's fault. Yeah, that should be easy to explain. "Does this have to do with the producer you punched? Oh god, it's all my fault, isn't it?" Louis began loudly sobbing, much to Harry's horror. Although Louis was technically the reason for Harry's black eye, it was not in the way he thought, and certainly nothing he should feel guilty for.

Harry rushed over to Louis' side. "Oh no, no, no, no baby. This isn't your fault at all. You've done absolutely nothing wrong," Harry paused, suddenly realizing something, "But... how do you know about the producer incident?"

"I saw it on tv," Louis responded, and oh god. Harry felt all of the color drain out of his face. Although Harry knew the media had gotten ahold of little information regarding the incident, he hadn't really had time to figure out what all they did know, or if it could be potentially damning for him.

"What... What else did you see on tv?"

Louis looked at him strangely. "Uh, nothing, I turned it off after that. Why?"

Harry exhaled in relief, thanking the lord that seemed to be blessing him all day (despite him in no way deserving it), "No reason." Harry only had so much luck, though, and couldn't avoid Louis' questioning much longer.

"Harry, you're making me nervous. All I know is that I was sedated at a hotel and woke up in a hospital room with no recollection of what happened. And I'm honestly terrified because no one is telling me anything, so please, please just tell me what's going on."

Harry waits a moment, but it seems his luck of being conveniently interrupted whenever asked a question has expired. "Well.... um... Let me just get the boys, so we can all explain."

~~~

Harry rushes to the waiting room, where the rest of his boyfriends are all lounging. They all sit up in alarm upon seeing Harry. "Is Louis ok?" Niall asks, concerned by Harry's frenzied state.

"Yeah, he is, it's just, he's asking questions, and I can't do this alone, guys." The boys all nod in understanding, and Harry sighs in relief. "Ok, let's go."

They come back to Louis, who is impatiently awaiting their arrival. "Finally," he says, but they can all tell he's teasing. The boys all smile at Louis, before giving each other uncertain looks. It's Niall who decides to begin.

"Well, I think we all just want to start off by saying how sorry we all are..." He's cut off by Louis, who thinks he knows where this is going. "I know what this is about, and don't worry guys, I forgive you." All the boys give him shocked looks. "You do?"

Louis chuckles. "Of course, guys. The fight we had was stupid, and honestly, all of you were right dicks. But I think it was just a combination of miscommunication and jealousy. What you guys did was shitty, but I think it's best if we all just move on, and forget about it. I'm sure you guys won't be so dumb in the future, right?" All the boys chuckle awkwardly, except for Zayn, who is clenching his fists. Liam sees him in his peripheral vision, and based on his twitching eye and clenched teeth, can tell he still doesn't think he was in the wrong, and certainly doesn't enjoy being called dumb.

"Ha, thanks Louis, you're the best. Really, we appreciate it. But I think we have to go. Did you hear someone calling us, Zayn? I did. I think we should go. Now." Liam drags Zayn out by the wrist, wanting to avoid any form of conflict.

The three remaining boys exchange confused glances. "Well that was weird..." says Louis.

"Yeah... I'm just gonna go check on them," says Niall, sparing a final glance at Harry and Louis, before leaving the room. Louis looks a bit disheartened about the three boys leaving, so Harry instantly attempts to cheer him up.

"We don't need them. This just means I get extra alone time with my Louis." Louis giggles, and Harry isn't sure if he's more relieved or guilty that he once again avoided answering any damning questions.

~~~

Jay rushed to her only son's hospital room, having arrived as quick as she could. It was difficult, as nurses couldn't really take off as they pleased, and she had felt bad leaving her girls, but her husband had promised to take care of them. Jay was pretty sure she knew what had happened, although she was confused, as an incident like that hadn't happened in quite awhile.

Jay burst into tears when she finally saw her son, rushing to his side. "Oh baby, what happened? I'm so sorry I wasn't here sooner!"

"Mum!" Louis shouted in glee. He had no idea she was coming, but he couldn't feel more relieved seeing her there. "I had no idea you were coming!"

Jay pulled back from the hug. "Of course I came, you twit. I just wish I was able to come sooner, but the hospital had been so busy, and they really needed me for this one surgery, but I felt so guilty knowing you were here all alone-"

"Mum!" Louis interrupted her, "Don't apologize, it's really ok, you didn't even have to come. Besides, I wasn't all alone, I had Harry here to keep me company."

Jay looks behind her and notices Harry for the first time. "Oh Harry! I didn't even notice you. Oh I've missed you so much," she smiled, getting up to hug him, before pulling back with a frown, "And I hope you've been taking care of my son." Harry paled at her tone. Did she know what he'd done? But how? Louis didn't even know, so-

"Mummmm. Leave him alone," Louis whined, although he couldn't hide his smile. Jay laughed. "I'm just messing with you, Harry. I know you'd never do any harm to my son." Harry sagged in relief, although his fear was quickly replaced with guilt.

Harry forced out a laugh. "Well it's been great to see you, Jay, but I'm off to go talk to the rest of the boys."

Jay watches Harry leave the room and then turns to her son. "What's up with him?" Jay asks, suspicious of Harry's nervous exterior.

"What do you mean?" Louis asks, oblivious to any difference in Harry's normal attitude.

"Does he not seem to be acting a bit... Strange to you? He just seems like he was nervous. Guilty maybe."

Louis shrugs. "I'm not sure. It could be because of a nasty fight me and the boys had last week, he's probably feeling bad. But it doesn't matter now, because we've all forgiven each other, and everything is back to normal," Louis smiles. God, he's so happy the fight with the boys is finally over.

Jay is still suspicious of Harry (of all of the boys, actually. Shouldn't they be comforting their boyfriend in the hospital?) but decides to move on. "Maybe... Anyways, I'm still in the dark. What happened? I was so worried when I heard you were in the hospital, and no one was giving me any information."

Louis pauses. "Well... I- I'm not actually sure, no one has given me much info either. All I've been told is that I had a bloody bump on my head and was sedated, and that's why I was brought here."

Jay pales. She had an idea what had happened, but sincerely hoped she was wrong. "Do you think you might have had one of your... flashbacks?"

Louis chuckles, "No, of course not, I haven't had one of those in years. I know how to avoid them as long as I'm not alone... Oh god." That's when it all came rushing back. He remembers going back to the hotel with the boys, and Harry asking him to take the elevator with him. But for some reason, Harry had to get off, and Louis was left alone. The elevator had broken down, and the lights had shut off, and then it was like... It was like he was a six year old again. "Oh god," Louis chokes out through a sob, "I did, I had one of my flashbacks when an elevator broke down. And- and no one was on it with me. Oh god, everyone must have been so freaked out when they found me. That's probably why all the boys are acting weird and avoiding me. They- they know how fucked up I am now."

Jay is sad for her son but not surprised. It had been a long time since Louis had had a serious flashback, but she knew he was bound to have one again. "Louis, it's ok. We've been over this, you know it's not your fault. There is nothing wrong with you. You just need to talk to the rest of your boyfriends, I promise everything will work out."

Jay really hoped she was telling the truth.

~~~

The next 24 hours are a whirlwind. Louis spends most of his time passed out, and when he's not, tests are being run on him. Apparently, he had a pretty major concussion that would keep him on bed rest for the next week.

The next morning, he's discharged, and sneaked out by some bodyguards into a black Range Rover, after tearfully saying goodbye to his mom, who had to go back to Doncaster. He is escorted to his hotel room, which he's supposed to be sharing with the boys, and promptly falls asleep. It wasn't much, but he'd had to walk up several flights of stairs in the hotel (there was no chance in hell he was taking the elevator), and it had left him with a pounding headache. He ended up sleeping through lunch and dinner. When he woke up, it was to his boyfriends entering the hotel room quietly (or at least attempting to).

Niall is the first one to notice Louis slowly sitting up. He nudges Liam, "I told you guys to be quiet!" The four boys begin arguing over who woke up Louis, and Louis can't help but chuckle. He missed this. He missed their playful fights and banter.

"It's fine guys, I slept quite a while already," Louis smiles. The boys all smile back at him, before walking over to the bed.

"How are you feeling, babe?" Harry asks, sitting next to him, rubbing his back in the way he knows he loves.

"Mmm, much better now that you guys are here," he says, leaning into the touch. He lets his eyes close in bliss- which means he misses the guilty grimaces on his boyfriends' faces.

Liam clears his throat. "Well, we brought you some Chinese food. We weren't sure what you'd want, so we got quite a bit," he says.

Louis smiles. "You guys are so thoughtful, thank you." Louis digs into a box of Lo Mein, and can't help but moan after one bite. "Oh my god this tastes like heaven. I haven't eaten all day, and I can't even remember the last time I ate something other than that nasty hospital shit." His boyfriends all laugh, incredibly endeared by Louis. They all make their way onto the bed, snuggling around him. They fall into a comfortable silence after that, all enjoying each others' company.

After a little bit, Louis pushes his food away, and Liam grabs it and throws it away, not wanting it to spill on the bed. Louis leans back onto Harry's chest with a content hum, feeling relaxed and sated after the big meal. No one says anything for a moment, and Louis thinks back to what his mom said. He really should talk to them about everything. He clears his throat, suddenly feeling nervous.

"Um, guys. I think we should talk about what happened." He feels Harry tense up under him, and hear's someone else let in a sharp intake of breath. "I- I know that this is probably uncomfortable for you guys- it's pretty evident with how you guys have been acting the past couple of days. So I just want to say I'm sorry." There's only silence after that, and Louis is afraid he said the wrong thing. Did they not forgive him? He peeks a look at his boyfriends, and finds they're all sporting a confused look. Harry finally speaks up, putting his arm around Louis' waist and pulling him closer.

"Why are you sorry, Blue?" Louis feels himself relax at the nickname. Harry always had a knack for calming him down.

"For not telling you guys how bad I could get. I told you I had claustrophobia, and I told Harry it was due to a traumatic event, but I never told you guys I could have severe flashbacks. I... I have PTSD, and I never told you guys because I didn't want you guys to think I was fucked up. Besides, I had therapy and medication, and for the most part have it under control, and I had just hoped you guys would never have to find out. But that was so stupid of me, thinking I could escape it. I'm assuming it was you guys who found me on the elevator, and I can only imagine how I was acting. God, you guys must've been horrified," Louis is crying by the end, little sniffles escaping between each word. He's quickly enveloped in a group hug, sweet, reassuring words being murmured in his ears.

"We're the ones who should be sorry. We left you all alone on that elevator and-" Louis interrupts Niall. "And you had no way of knowing it would break down. Please don't blame yourselves. It was just a series of unfortunate events, and I just really want to move on, and I hope you guys won't look at me any differently." The boys all reassure him that they won't, but they all know it's not true. Every time they look at him now, they'll be overwhelmed with guilt.

After that, for the first time in weeks, the five of them make love together, each boy trying their hardest to give as much pleasure as possible to Louis, because he deserves it. And because they can't think of any other way to start making up for all of their wrongdoings.

~~~

After all of his boyfriends fall asleep, Harry goes to the restroom and cries. He hates himself so much for what he did to Louis, especially after finding out Louis apparently had PTSD. He knows he should tell Louis the truth, but when he'd been thrusting into Louis and he'd whispered "I love you" in his ear, he knew he couldn't lose him. And if he had to lie to do it, he would. Because he could make Louis happy, and they deserved each other. Besides, what Louis didn't know couldn't hurt him. Right?

~~~

The next couple of days the boys spend camped up in their hotel room, watching movies and ordering room service. (And occasionally doing a bit more). They all reconnect and it's like the prior week hadn't even happened. The fight was long forgotten and forgiven, and the elevator incident for the most part ignored. They all ignored social media, and it's not like paparazzi could come up to their hotel room. They were all in their own little world, and couldn't be happier. That is, until the fourth day.

Harry, Zayn, Liam, and Niall all had to go to a meeting to discuss their next tour and album. Louis wasn't allowed to, as the doctor had told him he wasn't allowed on bedrest for the next couple of weeks. None of the boys were happy the meeting was happening, but promised to be quick.

Louis found himself quickly growing bored after their departure, and decided to turn on the tv. He flipped through the channels until he landed on an entertainment channel that had a special on the life of Freddie Mercury, and quickly became immersed. By the time the special was over, the boys still weren't back, so he decided to just continue watching tv. The next thing playing was some exclusive interview with a tv producer he'd never heard of. He would've changed the channel, but the remote had fallen on the floor, and he couldn't be arsed to get it.

A blonde lady with bright red lipstick appears on the screen, seated next to a middle aged man wearing a flannel and slacks, his face unshaven.

"I'm Leslie Ryan and we are here today with tv producer, Jack McKinnon. Jack has been involved of the production of various reality shows, most notably "Punk'd." However, Jack has recently made headlines due to his lawsuit involving young heart throb, Harry Styles, from the boy band One Direction. In this exclusive interview, Jack is spilling unreleased information on his spat with Styles."

Louis sits up abruptly when he hears Harry's name. He had completely forgotten about Harry's lawsuit, as none of the boys had brought it up. He had never gotten around to hearing the full story, and listens closely to hopefully gets some answers for his burning questions.

"Hi Leslie, thank you for having me."

"Thank you for coming. So, Jack, can you briefly explain what the lawsuit is?"

"Of course. After a bit of a spat, Harry Styles punched me, and almost broke my nose. It was assault, plain and simple. He's just lucky I didn't need surgery."

Leslie hums. "And can you give any detail on why he did so?"

"Well... I insulted his bandmate, and said some things I now regret. But that in no way justified physical violence!"

"I see. And can you explain why you were with Harry Styles in the first place?" And this, this is what Louis had been waiting for.

"Ah, yes. Well, it was for our show, "Punk'd." Every year we have a wildly popular Halloween segment, and this year we decided to have One Direction on." And ok, what? How had Louis not been informed of this?

"We actually have a clip of this segment from last year, for all of our viewers at home." Louis watches intently as he sees a girl on an elevator, riding calmly alone, until the lights suddenly go out. The camera switches to night vision, and he can see the girl getting nervous. After a couple seconds of her pressing some buttons, evidently in hopes of getting the elevator to work, something glow in the dark, resembling a ghost, falls from the ceiling. The girl looks absolutely terrified, and screams. Seconds later, the elevator door opens and light streams in, and it's revealed she had just been "Punk'd."

Louis does not like where this was going.

The screen returns to the interview. "That segment has been very popular in the past. Can you explain why this year's highly anticipated episode with One Direction never aired?"

"Unfortunately, there was some problems with the member the prank was played on, Louis Tomlinson. I'm not at liberty to say exactly what happened, but I can say things got ugly, and it's after that when I was ultimately punched." Ok, so maybe it's just that Harry punched the host for the prank, because he didn't know it was happening. Because there's no way his loving, protective, perfect Harry would allow that to happen to him. Right?

"Interesting. Can you explain why Louis was chosen to be the "victim"? And where were his band mates while all of this was happening?"

"His band mates were all with me in the studio. After getting Louis on the fake elevator, that met me in the studio to watch everything that was happening, to have their reactions filmed, as we always do on the show. As for Louis being chosen, all my team decided was that Harry would not be our victim, due to his popularity- we didn't want an angry horde of teenage girls upset to see him pranked- not to mention he's the youngest member, so we left it up to One Direction's management. From what I heard, they had Harry decide which band member to pull the prank on, and then had him inform the other members what was happening. We figured he would know best who to pull the prank on, but that clearly didn't-" Louis shuts the tv off at that point, after scrambling off the bed to get the remote. His head was pounding and he couldn't handle listening to anymore.

It was Harry. It was all Harry's fault he had to relive his own personal hell. Harry, who knew that Louis was claustrophobic and had experienced a traumatic event to make him so. Harry, who had promised to always protect him.

Louis rushed to the restroom, making it just in time to throw up into the toilet. He was having an anxiety attack, and was trying his hardest not to choke on his sobs or vomit. He felt like he couldn't breathe. Louis was hurt by the betrayal from all of his, now ex, boyfriends, but Harry's hurt by far the worst. He felt like his heart was being ripped out of his chest. He was dizzy with hurt and anxiety, but clung to the anger, fearing he wouldn't be able to put himself back together if he focused on the other feelings.

Louis never wanted to see any of the boys ever again. And he didn't plan to.

~~~

Harry couldn't wait to get back to the hotel to cuddle with his boyfriend. After spending time nonstop with him for a few days, being away from him made him miserable. It was just that he was so in love, and so happy. All of their past issues had basically resolved themselves, and even if he felt guilty about what he did, he had the rest of his life to make up for it. Meanwhile he got to a have a well deserved break, would get to visit his family, and would have plenty of time to write songs at his own pace. Life was basically perfect, and it'd be even better when he had Louis back in his arms.

When the boys finally make it up to the hotel room, Harry is the one to open the door. He dramatically swings it open, crying out, "Oh, how I've missed you, my love." Harry expects to hear some sort of greeting from Louis, or at least a giggle, but he's met with silence.

"Louis?" Again, there's no response. Harry turns to the other boys, "Did Louis say to any of you that he was going out?" The boys all shake their heads. Harry checks his phone to see if Louis had texted him, and Liam heads to the restroom to see if Louis was there, shouting out moments later that he wasn't.

"Wait guys, he left us a letter," Zayn says. Harry's shoulders sag in relief. Louis must have gone out for a bit, and left a letter to let them know. He was so thoughtful.

Harry's moment of peace is quickly ended, though, when he hears Zayn shakily say, "Guys?" Harry rushes over to Zayn, not liking where this was going. He snatched the letter out of his hand, ignoring everyone else to read it himself.

_Dear Liam, Zayn, Niall, and Harry,_

_If you're reading this, you've probably already figured out I'm gone. Where do you think I went? The store? Lunch? Just for a walk? You probably aren't too worried, because it's not like I would leave, right? Not when I have the perfect boyfriends coming back to me. That's how I felt this morning, too._ _These past few days, actually. I was so, so happy we had all made up, and that you guys finally knew about my mental illness, and still accepted me. I was so fucking happy, and so fucking naive._

_Maybe it's my fault, for not pushing harder for the truth, for not asking more questions. But I trusted you guys. I figured that if there was anything I needed to know, you would tell me. I guess I should've known not to trust you guys after how quick you all were to accuse me of cheating, when everything I was doing was for you. But I forgave you guys, because I ~~knew~~ thought you guys would never intentionally hurt me. _

_You guys completely fucked me over, and didn't even tell me. You listened to me- ME- apologize for having a flashback on an elevator. And you didn't feel the need to tell me it was all your fault. Yes, I know now. I don't know everything, but I know enough. I know that all of you willingly put me on an elevator, knowing fully how much I hate them. How scared I am of them. I never ride elevators alone, ever, and you guys knew that, but still chose to play that god awful prank on me._

_Do you want to know why I can't be in small, dark spaces? I didn't want to tell you guys, because I didn't want to upset you guys, or have you treat me differently. I thought saying I had claustrophobia was enough- it should've been enough. But now I'm going to tell you what gave me PTSD, for the sole reason that I want you to feel guilt, for you to regret everything you did, for you to feel half the pain I felt on that elevator._

_First off, Jay isn't my ~~real~~  biological mum. She adopted me when I was 7. I never said anything, because she is a real mum to me. But before her, I had my birth mother, and my birth father. My dad was an abusive asshole. He would beat me and my mum everyday, and I thought it was normal. I didn't realize how fucked up my childhood was. But that wasn't what really fucked me up in the head. _

_I was 6 years old when my mum decided we would leave my dad. We were going to go to a women's shelter, but that never worked out. My mum wanted to say to my dad's face she was leaving him. She had me hide in my "special hiding spot" while this was all happening, which was a small cabinet in the kitchen. It was cramped and dark and musty, but my dad didn't know about it, so it was perfect. It was while I was hiding in there that my mum was murdered. I couldn't see it, but I heard it when my dad shot her in the head, and she collapsed to the ground. I heard my mother fucking die while I had in a small, dark space, all alone. And I've had to relive it over, and over, and over again, for years._

_After my mum died, I was put in the foster system. I couldn't eat or sleep normally for months. I constantly had flashbacks, and couldn't be in a dark room without having one. Cramped spaces were even worse. Years of therapy and medication made it manageable, but it will never go away. The main thing is that I know what my triggers are, so I know what to avoid. I know to always leave a light on when I go to bed, to avoid fireworks or anything that could sound like a gunshot, and to avoid small spaces- especially being in small spaces alone, and with no light. I've mastered how to avoid these things, after years of practice, but it's hard to avoid when you're forced into the situation by the people you ~~trust~~  trusted most. _

_I hope you all stay awake a night from now on, consumed by guilt, unable to sleep. I will never forgive any of you, and I never want to see any of you ever again. I'm long gone by now, so don't even try looking for me. I don't care what happens to the band, or to our relationship. Stay together, or don't, extend the break, or don't. Just know that I don't want a single part of it. Since I didn't go to the meeting today, I didn't renew my contract, so I have no legal obligations holding me back. And I certainly have no feelings holding me back, either._

_Fuck all of you,_

_Louis Tomlinson_

Harry dropped the letter when he was done reading it, stumbling backwards, and falling back onto the bed. This couldn't be happening, he couldn't lose his Louis. He loved Louis. He was going to marry him one day.

Harry fumbled to grab his phone. The rest of the boys were all rereading the letter, unable to believe their eyes. Harry struggled to find Louis' name in his contact list through his tears, but as soon as he did he clicked call.

"Please pick up, please pick up, please pick-"

"Hello. I was wondering when you were going to call. I'm guessing you got the letter." Louis sounded so cold and distant, and Harry let out a sob.

"Please, don't do this. You can't leave. I'm so, so sorry, but we can work it out. Please, baby-"

"Don't call me that."

Harry stumbles at the harsh interruption. "Wh-what?"

"Don't call me baby. You lost that privilege."

Harry let out another sob. "Ok, ok that's fair. Just- just please come back. I need you, I love you, I love you so much-"

Louis interrupts again. "You don't love me. If you loved me, you wouldn't have done the awful things you did."

"No," Harry wailed, "I'm sorry. I do, I do love you so much, I want to marry you. I want a family with you. You are my world, bab- Louis. I'm so sorry for what I did, but please let me make it up to. Don't leave me. You can't. I love you."

Louis sighs, and cuts off Harry's rambling. "I just want to know one thing. Why me? I know you got to choose any of the boys- none of whom have claustrophobia- so why me? What the fuck did I do to you to deserve that?"

"I- I was mad when I did it, I'm so sorry. I was stupid, but I thought you were cheating and-" He was cut off by Louis laughing, although it was clear you found no humor in the situation.

"It's ironic that you didn't trust me, while I trusted you more than anyone else, but all along it was you who was the back-stabbing, untrustworthy prick. It's fucking funny, right?"

Harry has difficulty speaking through his sobs. "It- It's not, it's terrible- I'm terrible! But please, you need to come back. I need you! We all need you! And- and... And you're supposed to be on bedrest, oh god this is so bad, you shouldn't be out, this is so-"

"Oh shut up. Don't pretend you care."

"I do! I do care, so so much. Please just calm down and come back, you could get seriously hurt."

"Frankly Harry, I would rather die than spend another minute with any of you." Harry feels like he's been stabbed in the heart, he can't fucking breathe. Louis can't possibly mean that, can he?

Louis continues, "I just want you to know that even after all the shit you put through me, after the stupid fight and making me relive a traumatic event, I probably would've been able to forgive you, if you had just told me the truth, and apologized. But you couldn't even do that for me."

Harry sniffled, "I- I thought I would lose you."

"Oh, but Harry, you just did."

And with that, Louis hung up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes, I hoped everyone liked the chapter. If you've been subscribed to this story for a while, you might've noticed I changed the number of chapters from 4 to undecided. My original plan was to have just one more chapter, but let me know in the comments if you think I should make it longer.  
> Finally, I have some questions that it would mean a lot if you guys would answer, just because I love feedback.  
> 1\. Do you think Louis' reaction was just, or that he should've had a calmer approach?  
> 2\. Do you think any of the boys deserve to ever be forgiven?  
> 3\. Was Harry lying/ hiding the truth from Louis at all justifiable?  
> 4\. What do you think will happen next, and what do you hope will happen next?  
> Thank you so much if you answer any of these! As always, comments and kudos are greatly appreciated, and feedback is my biggest motivation. Thank you for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Next chapter will be all of this from the boys' point of view. If you enjoyed this chapter, please be sure to leave feedback.


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